Archives for posts with tag: Ultrasound

No of course the drama will never end, we’re going to be moms! This first trimester has been full of urgent issues though, and they’re not going away yet!

Saturday was a great pregnancy day, which I will also write a post about… Until the nighttime. We went to see The Hobbit, which was incredible, so much better than the other Hobbit movies that it was more like a Lord of the Rings movie! Before it started I ran to pee (which I still do every thirty minutes) and when I wiped, there was bright red blood. Again? Oh, please, after this amazing day and being 13 weeks already, please don’t go away little girl, please stay.

Back in here theater I told J what was happening. We decided to stay, since we’ve been through this before, but moved our seats from the middle of the theater to some of the empty handicap seats in the bottom row so I could keep going to the bathroom to check on things. I was worried, but I kind of knew it was okay because it had happened three times before. It wasn’t very much, and the two other times I went to check on it, it was only a little bit of blood, not as much as previous bleeds.

The fun continued when we arrived home. It was pouring rain and we were wet, which may have had something to do with the electric shock I gave myself. I plugged my phone in and texted my mom about the blood, but my phone charger cord is frayed and I felt a small zap in my fingers, followed by a shock sensation in my left abdomen. I’ve never electrocuted myself before. Since it was too late to call anyone we started googling. It turns out pregnant women do electrocute themselves at home enough to have many forum discussions. Most women were okay, but I also found one study in which women who gave themselves large shocks that went from their hand, through their uterus, to their feet lost their fetuses or had serious birth defects.

We were still worried about it in the morning so I called the nurse emergency line, who advised me to go to urgent care.

Mind you, I just had an ultrasound on Friday. I feel like I’m at the doctor all the time! I don’t have another appointment until February, and I was honestly relieved to be done with them for awhile, but there I was, back in a waiting room.

The Sunday afternoon urgent care doctor had no ultrasound machine or Doppler on hand, but they called an Ob-Gyn down from the emergency room, machine in tow! She was so very nice and spent a long time showing us our healthy little girl. As you can see from the ultrasound pic below, she’s in a very skeletal phase this week, growing all kinds of cheek, jaw and back bones! You can even see the tiny beads of her vertebrae. She also jumped up and down at one point, even though she’s face down! I have a workout video in which you place your hands on a step up box and jump your feel out and up behind you; she did a movement like that! So cute. The doctor said, “I’m not doing that, she’s doing that on her own!”

This is the second pic in a row that she’s face down, but the doctors said that she changes positions a few times a day until later on. She’s probably like me, flipping around in her sleep all the time!

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All was calm again until this morning, when more drama ensued. I had to go to our fertility clinic for a final (hopefully) progesterone check. I got up at 5:45, really nauseous and gagging. Morning sickness has been calm for the past couple of days, so I was disappointed at how crummy I felt. I threw up bile while getting ready. On the way to the clinic I ate some breakfast, but felt increasingly horrible and threw everything up when I arrived. When I got to work I was crying out of sheer desperation, and my coworkers were so amazing, urging me to go home and promising to contact my clients for me. I gagged the whole way home and threw up again when I got here.

I’ve taken two doses of Zofran today, more than I have before, and slept for two hours. I kept down a grilled cheese, soup and a muffin (yes, my 1st trimester diet).

I know that there will still be a lot of worry and discomfort for the duration of the pregnancy and far beyond, but I’m really ready to start enjoying things. I got a glimpse of it on Saturday morning (will post) and I truly feel that once this tri is over, things are going to change for the better! I can’t wait.

Sorry this is so long. By the way, I wrote a post called “Annoying Doctor” yesterday but it posted a few days back and I don’t think many readers saw it. I’m only bringing it up because I’m curious what you amazing, strong and well-opinioned women will think of it, if you have time to take a look!

I know a lot of you are in frustrating TTC cycles or early pregnancy, which is the hardest part I think, so I’m sending you all love and support. Stay strong.

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It’s been a looooong time since my last post, so I’m going to do lots of pregnancy updates, then write another post about our holidays.

My mother was in town for Christmas. She’s a midwife so it was super helpful to have her here, and she got to accompany us to two prenatal appointments – our first official prenatal check-up and our genetic consultation. We went for lots of walks and talked about all things baby!

11 Weeks

Our first prenatal appointment was long, but just reviewed a lot of stuff we already know about health, nutrition, and the baby’s development. That ultrasound was awesome – the baby was floating up and down and waved a hand at us twice! Here’s our 11-week ultrasound pic from 12/23/14:

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Genetic Testing

On 12/26/14 we had our genetic test. My mom, J and I met with a counselor who asked the genetic history of J and the sperm donor. As J is an orphan and doesn’t have any known bio relatives, and our sperm donor is squeaky clean, it was very fast! The counselor drew a family tree that consisted of two branches, then said he was done. We brought our donor’s medical and genetic profile from Fairfax Cryobank, which he flipped through, but the donor has no medical issues and no remarkable family medical history. The counselor did a great job of explaining everything to us and outlining each available test. We had the non-invasive Verify blood test done, which is a cell-free fetal DNA test where they analyze pieces of the baby’s DNA from my bloodstream. It’s amazing to me that they can find out so much from my own bloodstream! We are still waiting for the results, which will notify us of any risk of Down’s Syndrome, Trisomy 13 and Trisomy 18. It will also tell us the sex of the baby.

Boy or Girl?

A side note on little boys and girls – I desperately want a healthy baby and will immediately be excited and embrace either sex or anything in between. I have a strong desire for a girl however, and we’re inviting our little one to be a little girl. I’ve always been a girl’s girl, I love everything female, both friends and lovers. I have two sisters, and I went to my mom’s alma mater women’s college. I was brought up to be a feminist. I love make-up and dresses and baking with my sis and girl talks. I know I’d have a great mother-daughter bond, but if we welcome a boy, I’m going to learn a whole lot and love that, too!

12 Weeks – Finally!

I didn’t have another appointment scheduled until next Friday, but yesterday I was having a tough time feeling like I could still miscarry. Every day I struggle with this, wondering if the baby is still okay. I called our nurse and she got me in at the end of the day for a reassuring ultrasound, which J
also showed up for!

Yesterday, 1/2/15, we finally reached 12 weeks!

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Morning Sickness

I’ve continued to struggle with awful morning sickness. The week before Christmas I threw up a few nights in a row. I’ve continued to wake up around 3am most nights feeling like there’s poison coursing through my veins. My cure is half an almond butter and jam sandwich and a cup of almond milk, which usually settles my stomach until the morning. I can’t eat Thai food, or anything very rich. I finally got a prescription for Zofran, which helps a lot, but some nights I still throw up. On Tuesday night I threw up dinner, then woke up in the morning and threw up bile on New Years Eve and went to work feeling totally dejected! I do feel grateful for the sickness at times; it’s a way for our baby to communicate to me that everything is okay.

Little Baby Belly

I’m not a big fan of belly pics, especially after struggling with weight gain for the past few years, but I’ve had some requests so I’ll do one once a month!

Generally people don’t start showing until 12-16 weeks, but I’m definitely already there! Due to the subchorionic hematoma, I haven’t been able to exercise very much. Add a lot of Christmas eating and morning sickness carbs and you get a bloated and quickly growing belly, which I’m trying to embrace!

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I’m finally able to work out again! I went for a run on New Year’s Day, huffing and puffing but loving every second. I’ve done a few workout videos with light weights too, and tonight I’m headed to a restorative yoga class and sound bath, which incorporates chanting and vibrational gongs! In a week I’ll be in the second trimester, and I can’t wait!

This post is named for one of my all-time favorite songs by Alix Olsen, an incredible lesbian feminist slam poet and artist.

*TMI and threatened miscarriage mentioned

The last 24 hours have been so heart-wrenching, confusing, and exhausting. I spent the weekend engrossed in morning sickness, waking up at 3am to throw up, throwing up before we went out Saturday night, throwing up after lunch in Sunday. It was reassuring but so nasty! I was also exhausted, taking naps throughout the day. Sunday night I gave in and took unisom and B6 so that I could function at work Monday.

Yesterday the sickness was definitely better, but I was still so tired. I could barely shower and eat dinner after work. Once we were settled on the couch watching Intervention (our latest obsession), I went to the bathroom and found blood. A lot. I called J and she looked at it and we decided it was just the hematoma. A few minutes later, however, I felt it gushing. It was literally dripping out of me. J called the after-hours nurses line and we WAITED forty-five minutes for the nurse to call us back, only to ask me my symptoms and confirm we should go to the ER, which is what I was planning to do anyway. At the ER, we WAITED over an hour, were triaged, then told there were seven people more urgent ahead of me, possibly another two-hour WAIT. I went to the nurse’s station to tell the check-in nurse that we were leaving. He said, and I quote, “Well, if you want me to be honest with you, if you’re bleeding that much before twenty weeks, it’s probably a miscarriage.” I was floored. I snapped at him that I have a hematoma and that’s actually not necessarily true, then realized I was talking to a man who thought it was okay to say what he said in the first place. A casual, heartless, asshole thing to say that didn’t require a response. Let me just point out, not that I have to, that a female nurse would never say such a thing. On the way to the parking garage I burst into tears. I felt like I was starting to dread, to morn, to have the feeling of finding out about a miscarriage.

We somehow went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night still bleeding out clots. Today I WAITED through an absolutely mandatory all-day training. My psychologist license expires at the end of this month and I needed the in-person CEUs to renew it. On the way there, I talked to a Kaiser nurse who scheduled me mercilessly for a 4:00pm ultrasound. The training was excellent, thank goodness, and it kept me somewhat distracted all day. A lunch I explained what was happening to the LA DMH training facilitator what was happening, and she was sympathetic but told me she wasn’t comfortable giving me the CEU certificate if I left the training, so I forced myself to stay until the end, more WAITING. She also told me about her own miscarriage (thanks, I really needed to hear that right then).

Traffic on the 110 to Kaiser was horrific; basically, stopped most of the way. By that time I was resigned, knowing I was late, baby may or not be inside me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about either but WAIT.

My phone died. J had called me on the freeway to say she was there waiting for me, but at the medical office I couldn’t find her. I asked the nurses frantically if they could contact her, but they couldn’t find or get ahold of her cell either. The nurse put me in the exam room to WAIT for the doctor and I finally lost it, just say there crying. I’d held it together all day, put on a nice outfit and make-up, found a nice sandwich shop for lunch, participated throughout the training. I let myself go. The nurse and doctor finally came in and I explained why I was freaking out, then as he was about to put the ultrasound wand in, J knocked on the door and rushed in. He put the wand in and there was my baby, heart throbbing, and bigger than last week. Sweet relief, more tears; the waiting was over.

Fetal heart rate is 171 today. Measurement 8.5 weeks, exactly where we should be.

I still feel amped up, like something scary is happening. It was a long time to not know what was going on. The doctor explained that every time I have a bleed that bad, the only way to know that the baby is okay is to have an ultrasound. He also said that having so much blood with clotting and cramps is normal for a hematoma, and I may bleed again.

At least I know what to expect if it happens again. The first time it happened, at six weeks, I also had cramping, but this time was somehow scarier. We’d graduated from the fertility clinic and I just wasn’t expecting it, and it was more blood than I’d had previously. Before we left the office, J said something very wise, that we’d already had to go through one real miscarriage, let’s not feel like we’re having another one until it really happens.

Here I am, back on the couch, trying to calm down. Checking my pulse, looking at pictures of the baby’s pulse. I want to start enjoying this pregnancy and getting excited, but I guess at this point, just staying calm for a few days will be a step in the right direction.

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We had a good ultrasound this morning. Our doctor kept saying how much the fetus has grown! She showed us the flickering heartbeat immediately, and we couldn’t believe how big the baby has gotten in just a week!

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The heartbeat was 160 bpm – sweet relief! Oh wow, it was such a fantastic feeling!

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We “graduated” from our fertility clinic. Our doctor said that we have less than 10% chance of miscarriage now. I’m still cautious, but much more excited now. Our doctor gave us a USB with pics of all our ultrasounds, and we got to write our initials and due date on a dot and hang it on their baby calendar. Our doctors and IVF coordinator gave us big hugs, and our awesome nurse did a birthday dance for me šŸ™‚ I’m going to miss them a lot; they’ve been such a great team.

I want to write more but I’m so tired! Work was very busy today and J took me out for dinner. Every year of my childhood my sisters and I got a homemade ice cream cake with Oreo cookie crust. I love strawberry shortcake ice cream bars, so this year J got creative and made me a strawberry shortcake ice cream cake! It was incredible!

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I’ll write a longer post this weekend when the holiday traveling and eating calm down, but I wanted to share with everyone that our baby is okay. I don’t take this baby for granted for one second. Every day that goes by I feel grateful that s/he is still around, and hopeful that s/he’ll stay.

We had another ultrasound yesterday, at 6 weeks, 6 days. Instead of the fertility clinic, we did it at Kaiser, which was free, not even a co-pay; way better than our usual $300! The wait was long, though, and the ultrasound quality way lower.

I explained to the doctor that we did IVF, that we hadn’t graduated from the fertility clinic yet, that I had a MC this summer and that I had a hematoma and bled out last week.
He immediately reassured me that baby is still alive and well. He showed us the hematoma, but it was hard to see and not nearly as clear as last week. I don’t know if it was just the machine, or if it reduced in size in the last week.

The heartbeat was 114 bpm. I was hoping for higher but it’s completely normal. He measured the fetus at 6 weeks, 4 days, which is also normal. Just hang on, little one! Keep growing!

We drove to San Diego last night with cooking in tow – I made cranberry sauce, cornbread stuffing, apple pie and pumpkin pie. I love homemade T day food! J’s mom made an organic turkey, cheesy potatoes, and green bean casserole. This morning we took a long walk – my first exercise in days! It’s 80 degrees here and sunny.

My symptoms are pretty reassuring too – totally breathless, boobs extremely sore, nauseous all day.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates! I’m so grateful for my WP community of compassionate, intelligent and caring women.

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I tried to wait until after the US to post, but I’ve got butterflies in my stomach and just want to put some positive energy into my TTC world.

Our US is at 11:30. It’s 10:22. My 10am client didn’t show up to distract me, and I’m sitting at my desk feeling nervous and excited. I’ve continued to have spotting on and off. I’m still sore, but my most prominent symptom is breathlessness. Has anyone else had this? It happened in my first pregnancy too. Just getting up from my chair leaves me feeling winded, and I’m in good shape! Yesterday I had a fee waves of nausea throughout the day, especially when I was hungry. These symptoms are reassuring me. I’ve been taking 1/2 a Unisom every night with a vitamin B6, a remedy suggested by my doctor last time, in hopes that it would reduce my morning sickness; last time I was pregnant I was miserable. J and I aren’t sure we want me to take that chemical every night though, so this weekend I’ll try to go off of it.

I hope and pray that we have a heartbeat. Our doctor feels that if we have one, our risk of miscarriage is extremely low. She said this exact same thing before my miscarriage in July, but she still feels that the likelihood of it happening twice is low.

I picture the embryo who’s inside me becoming an actual child and it feels so right. I imagine him/her continuing to grow, what it’ll feel like to carry her for awhile, and what it’ll feel like to have a new person in our lives. I imagine celebrating her as a part of our wedding when I’m six months along. I pray that this dream is becoming a reality!

This week we have to be at the clinic Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, then J’s retrieval next week. I can’t work out or sleep as much because the schedule is crazy and requires me to travel 1/2 hour to the clinic downtown, then an hour back to the west side for work. Work is super busy for both of us and in the meantime I’m in the hiring process for my new job. I not complaining, it’s exciting, but I’ve had my moments of feeling overwhelmed.

The monitoring during egg retrieval keeps track of J’a follicle growth, number of follicles, and estradiol level. Last week her estradiol was 37. Her current level is 380! She has 16 follicles on one ovary today and 14 on the other. One of them was already large and is now 13 mm. Monday the US tech was concerned that with one big follicle the others would stop growing and we’d have to wait a cycle, but today she said the others are growing too, so we’re still in the game.

J had to have the clinic bloodwork, then another blood draw for some tests we had forgotten to get, and tonight is about to get three more needles in the stomach šŸ˜¦ The kitties and I are being very nice to her!

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