Archives for posts with tag: pregnancy symptoms

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I started this blog as a way to document our decision to do reciprocal IVF, and the process, so other lesbians choosing this path could learn about it and I could meet others doing egg sharing. It’s quickly turned into a pregnancy blog! It happened so fast, I just can’t believe it. I feel incredibly lucky and also like I’m living in a dream. I’m so aware of my audience, of the different experiences and paths all of you strong women are going through. I respect and honor all of the joys, sorrows, doubts, and frustrations of every blogger I follow and every blogger who follows this blog.

I want to share our first ultrasound! It was crazy in a good way. We woke up early Saturday morning and rushed to the clinic. We were both exhausted from my insomnia, which keeps both of us up. Our doctor did a vaginal u/s and found a gestational sac and a yolk sac. There was also a tiny flickering heartbeat! 113 bpm. We heard it and saw it strong and adorable on the machine! She said everything looked great and it was the best possible outcome. Most importantly, there was only one! No twins. For a second I was really disappointed but that quickly turned into relief; relief that the baby wouldn’t have the risk that comes with multiples, and relief that I wouldn’t be physically carrying multiples.

We only have one more u/s at the fertility clinic; our doctor said we’ll graduate at 8 weeks. They say the first trimester, but from what I’ve read on other blogs, it’s usually 8 weeks. The doctor also said that prior to the u/s our miscarriage risk was about 50%, but now she guesses it’s down to 20%. I don’t understand this statistics stuff – last weekend when I bled, my mother (who’s a midwife) said the risk was 50%, but the on-call doctor from our clinic said it was “much lower” than that, but it turns out it probably was 50%. Can’t doctors from the same clinic have the same idea about such things?! We don’t even believe any of our clinic’s fertility stats because they haven’t done research on lesbian couples with no history of fertility problems anyway, so who knows.

We spent the morning in bliss, calling our families and emailing them the video J took of the heartbeat. We also got two books – What to Expect, of course, as a daily reference, and The Complete Organic Pregnancy by Deirdre Dolan and Alexandra Zissu. I’m in morning sickness hell. It started at exactly 6 weeks, 1 day. I spent the weekend gagging, not throwing up, unfortunately, eating lots of nasty crackers I’m now sick of, and lying around feeling yucky. I’m glad to have symptoms because I know they’re good signs, but man I’m sore, tired, queasy, dizzy and short of breath!

I’m still adjusting to the new job and haven’t had much time or energy for blogging, but my next post will surely cover it, especially having morning sickness alllllll dayyyyy long when no one around you knows what’s wrong!

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My mom left last night after a wonderful week of sunshine and play! Los Angeles, from my perspective, is at its best when I’m showing guests around. Our first day we went to Korean BBQ and the Koreatown Galleria, then downtown to Olvera Street, a Mexican market (hey it’s not San Diego, but it’s okay). On Tuesday we headed west to Santa Monica pier where we had burgers and fries, then hung out in Venice on the boardwalk, where cannabis wafted around my head along with visions of Jim Morrison. My mom loved Venice; the architecture, the spread-out beach, the Rasta guys smiling everywhere.

Mom and I on Venice Beach

Mom and I on Venice Beach

Back at home I made Thai green curry with red sticky rice and my friend came over to meet my mom. I’m perfecting my Thai cooking slowly, and with the addition of some secret ingredients, it’s getting better! I hear warm anti-inflammatory food is great for the fetus, so bring it on! Wednesday we headed back to Point Dume in Malibu – I had to share the gorgeous blue and green water, the sand dune hike, and the quiet, rocky beach with my mom. She loves hiking and spends much of her free time trekking around New Mexico, climbing mesas and camping with her other free-spirited retirement friends. She’s a great person to hike with and loves the beach!

Hiking trails over secluded beach

Hiking trails over secluded beach


You can see seals on the rocks and sometimes dolphin fins in the water.

You can see seals on the rocks and sometimes dolphin fins in the water.

Yesterday, J took the afternoon off to galavant around Hollywood with us. We drove to Griffith Park Observatory to get some amazing pics of the Hollywood sign and sweeping views of the urban sprawl, then descended to the ridiculousness that is Hollywood Boulevard. When we first moved here a year ago, I couldn’t believe that Hollywood was right up the street. Not that I’d ever cared about Hollywood before, but just driving through it was a thrill beyond what I’d expected; there’s something exciting about seeing Michael Jackson’s sidewalk star and being followed around by Darth Vader!

Yesterday morning my mom, J and I somehow exited the house with our coffee at 7am and headed to the clinic. It was nice to show my mom where the magic happened and have her be there for my final beta. I haven’t been having many pregnancy symptoms – my boobs are still sore, like even walking through the house hurts, and I’ve been a little dizzy and breathless, but that’s it. I told this to our bloodwork nurse, who assured me I may develop morning sickness soon and that when she was pregnant, she’d be in the middle of sticking a patient with a needle and would have to run away and puke. Great. With my new job starting next week, I’m super nervous about this! I was also nervous about the numbers going down. I imagined what it would be like for the nurse to call later in the day and say she was sorry, but I was probably miscarrying. I just wanted to be prepared for anything.

While we were eating with the tourists in Hollywood, the phone rang. My IVF coordinator relayed the numbers – beta was up to 5,250! Back at the table, my mom says she’ll finally allow herself to be happy for us (she’s very cautious due to family history of miscarriages) and J is excited. I felt a warm glow for the rest of the day. J is still worried about twins but we’ve started joking about it. “Better feed the twins,” she says, and “I better get ready to feed a family of four.” I would love to have twins once they’re out of my belly, but carrying them, keeping them healthy, and delivering them safely terrifies me.

I gave my beta news to my sisters, who are both new moms, and they both were happy but informed me that they started morning sickness at 6 weeks. It was BAD. Six weeks will be my first week at a new office, the most important job I’ve ever had. I’ll be armed with crackers, seltzer, ginger tea, and Preggie Pops, but still scared.

Our first ultrasound is next Saturday, June 28th! Oh my gosh that’s going to change everything, my whole life…

My mom and I many years ago.

My mom and I many years ago.