Archives for posts with tag: Lesbian conception

The transfer was pretty serene, probably due to getting a lovely massage right before, and the Valium my IVF coordinator gave me. Here’s the play-by-play:

I was shaky and nervous when we arrived at the clinic. Since I forgot my water bottle at home I bought a nice bottle of Evian in the office building cafe. Only the best for my “baby”! Our doctor called us into her office and reviewed our embryos. It was pretty heart-wrenching to see the list of each embryo and how they did. The embryos at the top had survived and their development was coded, but a line down the page where the other fertilized eggs had been just said “disposed.” It was weird. Or doctor explained the development of each embryo. We had two in really good condition, not “As” but “Bs” she called prime. They are going to continue watching four more and we will possibly have 2-4 to freeze. When I first found out there were only two good ones I freaked out a little inside. Our doctor explained why she recommended two embryos based on J’s eggs and the development of the embryos; if they weren’t well-developed she may have recommended three, or if we were younger, one, but as it was we followed her rec and transferred two. Our clinic has a 48% success rate in our age category. If we transferred only one, the chances of pregnancy drops to 18%. However, with two, the chance of twins is 20%. Neither of us wants twins but our doctor explained that it is never her intention to give anyone twins, her intention is one healthy baby, but that having to go through another cycle can be very difficult emotionally.

When we got to the room my bladder wasn’t quite full so they had me drink more water and checked my bladder on the ultrasound to see if it was getting full. Around the time the Valium started kicking in, a magic cubbyhole door in the wall opened and our embryologist stuck her head through and introduced herself! It felt surreal, her showing us the lab through the cubbyhole, the incubators, and handing us a picture of our embryos. Then our doctor, who is a fabulous female fertility queen, came in. I felt the catheter go through my cervix – tiny ouch – but J was holding my hand and I was happy and relaxed from the valium so it wasn’t too bad. We watched on the screen as the catheter released the embryos. J took a video of it, which was our doctor’s idea, but I can’t get the video to save into this post. The embryos looked like a tiny shooting star falling into place! As soon as it was over I started crying. I was so happy and couldn’t believe it was happening. J said later that she almost cried too but kept it together so we could hear the aftercare instructions.

I stay on estrogen twice daily and progesterone suppositories three times daily. I learned from my WordPress friends in London that they’re called “pressaries” there and I like that much better! No exercise for 48 hours. I’m a little crampy but can’t use ibuprofen or even a heating pad – the doctor says my body knows what temperature to keep the embryos šŸ™‚

Our embryos!

Our embryos!

The biggest surprise today was that my BETA is in ONE WEEK!! WWWHHHATT?! I thought it was a two week wait! Our coordinator explained that since we transferred a 5-day blastocyst, my first blood pregnancy test will be next Tuesday June 10th, then the second June 12th, and if I am pregnant, the final one June 19th. I’ve been preparing for the long haul and I’m flabbergasted that we have a test in only a week!

J and I took a long nap this afternoon, then made a yummy dinner and watched a comedy movie. Supposedly laughing is good for post-transfer? It worked, we laughed! I also ate my pineapple and core, and the other four pieces are waiting in the fridge to eat each day to keep my uterus sticky.

I'll do whatever it takes! Plus this fair trade pineapple is amazing.

I’ll do whatever it takes! Plus this fair trade pineapple is amazing.

I cannot believe J’s biological embryos are in my uterus right now. How did this happen?! It’s amazing. I’m hoping for the best outcome possible but I know that all kinds of things happen during IVF and I’m prepared for the emotional roller coaster to continue. On the other hand, I feel calm and open. Back to work tomorrow to act as if nothing is happening! Good thing I have a busy day…

Finding a donor was the most daunting part of TTC so far. Since my partner is Korean and we’re using her eggs, we focused on finding an Italian-American donor who may have some of my characteristics. The first hurdle was choosing a sperm bank, which was a huge decision in itself. The websites, prices and selections are all really different. We ended up buying memberships to both Fairfax Cryo and California Cryo so we could get a better idea of which Italian donors fit what we wanted.

My partner left this choice up to me since she’ll already be biologically related, so I summoned my mother to help. I gave my mom the login info and a second later she sent a text that just said, “This is weird.” Yes, that’s why I need help!! She eventually got over the weirdness and gave me feedback on my favorites. “Sperm dating” mostly focused on a trifecta of important factors – baby pics sorta similar to mine, current career, and personality. Then there were more fun things to confuse me – staff impressions, celebrity look-alikes, donor audio comments, family relationships, medical history. We noticed that California Cryo had a lot of donors in the entertainment industry like dancers and actors, which was kind of funny. Not really what we were looking for, so we moved to Fairfax. Fairfax website isn’t as user-friendly but their selection is great.

A few Saturdays ago I made J breakfast and put all our donor options on the dining room table. It was like a final decision breakfast. Over pancakes we read and listened wrote pros and cons. What finally tipped our decision was hearing the donor talk about his great-grandfather being a “straight off the boat Italian.” My grandfather was the same, and this donor was adorable as a little boy, pre-med with plans to become a pediatric oncologist, and described as being really sweet and respectful. There was another we really liked but he didn’t have any vials available. On Monday morning I called Fairfax and ordered the pre-med guy, and once it was done I tried not to look back. As my mom said, all the donors are excellent candidates, so it’s a crap shoot. You have no idea what their genes, mixed with J’s genes, will be like, and every embryo from that combination would produce a totally different child so there’s just no way to know.

Our swimmers arrived at the clinic yesterday! It feels surreal.

My & J's baby pic

My & J’s baby pic

Our donor

Our donor