Archives for category: Wedding Planning

We’re finally planning our wedding! We really committed to our six weeks of DIY couples therapy, which has improved our interactions a lot. We got excited about wedding planning and have come up with an affordable and fun weekend plan. As some of you know, we had planned our wedding for Sequoia National Park while I was pregnant, but medically, it wasn’t a good idea, and since Gia was born, we haven’t exactly been in a place to plan a wedding. 

It’s not the hippie wedding in the woods I planned two years ago, and it’s not in the Tuscan countryside we considered, but it’s convenient for our family and close friends, especially now that there are SEVEN baby and kid cousins between our two families! When we looked at our priorities, having our community there was really important. Keeping it low-stress and outdoors-y was also important. 

I planned the whole thing in about a week  and it came together so easily. The ceremony and reception will be at an amazing brewery in north San Diego (craft beer country). There are gardens, a koi pond, stone walkways and a small green lawn where the ceremony will be held. My best friends from college are doing the officiating and music, and another talented friend of ours is doing our photography. Afterwards we will have a farm-to-table meal on the garden deck. 

Here are some pics from someone else’s wedding in the same spot:


And some pics of us checking out the ceremony space and trying the food (Gia loved the sautéed greens):


We found a fun hotel near the brewery and stayed there Saturday night to see if it would feel right for the wedding. We booked one of its cottages on a lake to stay in on our wedding weekend. It has its own porch and fire pit, plus a kitchen to make cocktails and snacks, and the hotel has two really nice pools and hot tubs. 


I’m excited to share this here, and wish I had more time to write about my thoughts and daydream about my vision. I’ve waited so long to plan my wedding and now that it’s here, it’s also bringing up some difficult feelings, of course, mostly fear and perfectionism. I had mixed feelings about the hotel, but after a lot of processing and analyzing we decided to go ahead and embrace the plan. Today we put down deposits, sent out save-the-dates, and launched our website! 

 Gia has been sick and work has been stressful. We sleep-trained using the happy sleeper for three nights and she responded well, then promptly got sick and has mostly been in bed with us for two weeks. In reaching a breaking point again, but when she gets better we will do sleep waves and get her back on track. 

9-month update to follow!

Oh, and more puking. Sorry.

I’ve been so crazy busy and neglecting the blog. Lately I don’t want to work, just next and get ready for the baby, but alas, work is taking over right now so I’m writing a poorly-written, not-well-thought-out post!

Last weekend we did get away to Sequoia National Park to hike and think about having our wedding there. It was gorgeous and seeing the snow, trees and mountains was refreshing.

My morning sickness got worse on this trip. I threw up on the way up the curvy road to the top of the mountain (“Quick, pull over quick!”) We stayed at Wuksachi Lodge, where you can have a nice restaurant meal and a hot bath and warm bed after a day of hiking, which I love! I used to backcountry hike and camp for two or three days at a time in my early twenties, but now I really appreciate these cushy accommodations!

I was extremely nauseous as we sat down to dinner. I had salad and soup but couldn’t enjoy anything. I actually had to eat a snack in the bathroom of the hotel room in the middle of the night because I was so sick. In the morning J and I had a breakfast we had packed – bagels, cream cheese, trail mix, and oranges – but nothing helped. I actually didn’t feel sick while we were hiking. I’ve found that exercising really helps with morning sickness, as long as I take it easy and have a snack right afterwards.

We did an out-and-back hike for about three hours to an incredible rock with 365 degree views of the Sierra Nevada’s called Little Baldy. Then we drove to the Giant Forest to check out some gigantic Sequoias and climbed up Moro Rock. This whole park is amazing, and being in the midst of the biggest trees gives me a crazy feeling. It puts things in perspective, helps me realize what’s important in life, makes me feel connected to the universe, and all that cliche stuff!

I threw up twice that afternoon and evening and was still sick at dinner. We finally googled morning sickness and altitude (Sequoia is at 7,000 feet) and it turns out pregnant women who don’t live in high altitudes shouldn’t go to them! Oops. Take heed, all of you!

I’m feeling extremely overwhelmed about wedding planning. My plan was to sign the major contracts after the sequoia weekend and send out save-the-dates in a few months, but I’m only more confused. It feels like too much to ask our friends to travel almost five hours up a remote mountain for our wedding, and to ask our families to fly to Cali, rent cars and drive over two hours up the mountain. We love the forest and the lodge, it’s pretty affordable and our style, but I’m feeling unsettled about it. We did scope out the outside area where we would have the ceremony as well as the reception space, and met with our awesome potential photographers the next day, but I just can’t decide if it’s the right place.

To further complicate things, we’ve started looking at houses. We actually put an offer on a gorgeous, big refinished house I loved, then realized the seller was a flipper who had strange requests and pulled the offer, and today put another offer on a fixer-upper. Not knowing where we’re going to live with our baby is stressing me out! Getting married, pregnant and buying a house all at the same time is a lot, but I’m excited and motivated.

Here are some Sequoia pics. Pregnancy update to come…

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The morning sickness really kicked in this weekend, which was reassuring. Yay, I’m nauseous! Yay, my breasts feel like they’ve been punched! Yay, I’m awake from 2-4 every morning! Ah, those reassuring miseries! Although I haven’t had any heavy or red bleeding since my second ultrasound last Friday, I’ve continued to have pink and brown spotting. I’m up to four progesterone suppositories daily, but I won’t share the lovely effects of that even on a TMI TTC blog. Worst of all, we cannot have sex.

We’ve learned a lot about subchorionic hematomas in the last few days. Most women who have them seem to be put on complete or partial bed rest, but there isn’t any evidence that would help with one like mine. I really miss exercising now, having thought I’d be finally going back to it after the first US, and instead going from taking walks and using light weights to exactly nothing! I just want the baby to be okay, so I’ve given up extra activity aside from working. Last night J said, “I thought you just get pregnant, eat healthy for 9 months then have a baby!”

We had to make a really hard decision over the weekend to postpone our wedding. I felt strongly that having our full wedding before the baby came was important, so we were scrambling to set everything up in time. Our save-the-dates were finished Saturday morning and we reviewed the venue contract and got ready to send in the deposit. We even went to Sur la Table to start our registry Saturday night! The machine you use to scan items you want on your registry was broken, so I guess that was a sign. Sunday morning, my mother called me and shared that she feels the hemorrhage is just one of many things that can happen, and that being in a secluded location any time in our third trimester is not a good idea. We were planning our wedding for Sequoia National Park when I would have been 28 weeks, a time when you can go into preterm labor and any number of other complications can happen, especially with an “older” mother (I’ll be 36). My mother had been so completely excited about our wedding, I know she was thinking medically about this and I appreciate her intervention.

When my mom called, I was walking into Michael’s to look for lanterns for the reception tables. My sister and I had been talking about the decorations an hour before. It was the first time I had actually gone out to do a wedding planning activity. I totally trust my mom though, and as I heard the words coming out of her mouth, I knew it was the right thing to do. I sat in an empty craft classroom in Michael’s and sobbed. I felt like a rug was being pulled out from under me. At the same time, I felt taken care of and like our baby is already loved, and that was nice.

We’re now focusing completely on the pregnancy. In a few weeks when we feel more comfortable, we’ll start the wedding planning again, probably for spring 2016. I feel really sad and disappointed, but I also know it’s the right thing to do. I’ll be able to drink at my wedding, and I’ll get over a year to plan, and we’ll be able to take a honeymoon (hopefully with our child) and those are all good things.

Time cannot move fast enough until our ultrasound on Wednesday afternoon. I can’t wait to see my baby’s heart pounding away again. I’m sending him/her a ton of love and hope! Grow and be strong, little one, we love you and want you so much!

Wedding planning is a wonderful distraction from hoping our embies are safe and want to stay in my belly. It’s so overwhelming and exciting, and it’s going to happen baby or not, so it’s an all-consuming, entertaining pastime.

Here’s where we’re at so far: Whether or not I stay pregnant, we’re going to get married this spring in California, so that our legal marriage and wedding celebration are one in the same. It’s crazy to plan a wedding in five months! I always thought I’d be planning for over a year, but it really feels right to get married before we become parents.

Since I lived in San Diego for nine years I’ve seen a lot of beach weddings, and I don’t want one – too cold and sandy! We’re thinking about getting married in the Sequoia National Park. In February J and I went to Sequoia for a weekend and loved it. It’s so peaceful and awe-inspiring there. Here are some pics from our trip:

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At the top of Moro Rock, which has panoramic views

At the top of Moro Rock, which has panoramic views

Sunset at the top of Moro Rock

Sunset at the top of Moro Rock

Here are the elements I’d love for my wedding:

– Very natural setting, in the woods, a field or gardens

– Intimate and retreat-style, where family and closest friends can spend the weekend together

– Heartfelt, earthy and laid-back

– DIY elements like centerpieces, placecards and ceremony programs

– Catering that uses as many local resources as possible

In the past few days I’ve considered a lot of options and have done a lot of research. Because sequoia is difficult for friends and family to get to, we thought about getting married in wine country, in a town outside of San Diego, or even in downtown LA. We love sleek industrial warehouses, boutique hotels, and ranch-style retreats. There are so many great venues, but they’re very pricey and many are already booked. After much deliberation and literally hours and days on the Internet, we’re pretty sure that Sequoia is our choice. It’s breathtaking, has sentimental value, is affordable, and has all of the elements that are important to us.

Having a wedding weekend there would be low-stress. Everyone would be able to get in some incredible hiking, and the lodge has a decent restaurant for the rehearsal dinner.

Here are some weddings that took place in Sequoia, with photo credits:

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(Dez & Tam Photography)

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(Bergreen Photography, via MountainsideBride.com)

The pics from the Wuksachi Lodge website look a little cheesy, but I think with some help we could make the space gorgeous:

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(Wuksachi Lodge brochure pics)

I’ve contacted the lodge and they have a lot of available dates. I put together a budget proposal based on the lodge’s prices and catering menus. We’ve contacted a few documentary-style photographers. Best of all, we have our ceremony officiant, one of my best friends from college who has a ceremony business! We’ve also booked a room at Wuksachi for December to plan things in person.

Let me know what you think, I know you all have lots of wedding experience!