Archives for category: First Trimester

No of course the drama will never end, we’re going to be moms! This first trimester has been full of urgent issues though, and they’re not going away yet!

Saturday was a great pregnancy day, which I will also write a post about… Until the nighttime. We went to see The Hobbit, which was incredible, so much better than the other Hobbit movies that it was more like a Lord of the Rings movie! Before it started I ran to pee (which I still do every thirty minutes) and when I wiped, there was bright red blood. Again? Oh, please, after this amazing day and being 13 weeks already, please don’t go away little girl, please stay.

Back in here theater I told J what was happening. We decided to stay, since we’ve been through this before, but moved our seats from the middle of the theater to some of the empty handicap seats in the bottom row so I could keep going to the bathroom to check on things. I was worried, but I kind of knew it was okay because it had happened three times before. It wasn’t very much, and the two other times I went to check on it, it was only a little bit of blood, not as much as previous bleeds.

The fun continued when we arrived home. It was pouring rain and we were wet, which may have had something to do with the electric shock I gave myself. I plugged my phone in and texted my mom about the blood, but my phone charger cord is frayed and I felt a small zap in my fingers, followed by a shock sensation in my left abdomen. I’ve never electrocuted myself before. Since it was too late to call anyone we started googling. It turns out pregnant women do electrocute themselves at home enough to have many forum discussions. Most women were okay, but I also found one study in which women who gave themselves large shocks that went from their hand, through their uterus, to their feet lost their fetuses or had serious birth defects.

We were still worried about it in the morning so I called the nurse emergency line, who advised me to go to urgent care.

Mind you, I just had an ultrasound on Friday. I feel like I’m at the doctor all the time! I don’t have another appointment until February, and I was honestly relieved to be done with them for awhile, but there I was, back in a waiting room.

The Sunday afternoon urgent care doctor had no ultrasound machine or Doppler on hand, but they called an Ob-Gyn down from the emergency room, machine in tow! She was so very nice and spent a long time showing us our healthy little girl. As you can see from the ultrasound pic below, she’s in a very skeletal phase this week, growing all kinds of cheek, jaw and back bones! You can even see the tiny beads of her vertebrae. She also jumped up and down at one point, even though she’s face down! I have a workout video in which you place your hands on a step up box and jump your feel out and up behind you; she did a movement like that! So cute. The doctor said, “I’m not doing that, she’s doing that on her own!”

This is the second pic in a row that she’s face down, but the doctors said that she changes positions a few times a day until later on. She’s probably like me, flipping around in her sleep all the time!

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All was calm again until this morning, when more drama ensued. I had to go to our fertility clinic for a final (hopefully) progesterone check. I got up at 5:45, really nauseous and gagging. Morning sickness has been calm for the past couple of days, so I was disappointed at how crummy I felt. I threw up bile while getting ready. On the way to the clinic I ate some breakfast, but felt increasingly horrible and threw everything up when I arrived. When I got to work I was crying out of sheer desperation, and my coworkers were so amazing, urging me to go home and promising to contact my clients for me. I gagged the whole way home and threw up again when I got here.

I’ve taken two doses of Zofran today, more than I have before, and slept for two hours. I kept down a grilled cheese, soup and a muffin (yes, my 1st trimester diet).

I know that there will still be a lot of worry and discomfort for the duration of the pregnancy and far beyond, but I’m really ready to start enjoying things. I got a glimpse of it on Saturday morning (will post) and I truly feel that once this tri is over, things are going to change for the better! I can’t wait.

Sorry this is so long. By the way, I wrote a post called “Annoying Doctor” yesterday but it posted a few days back and I don’t think many readers saw it. I’m only bringing it up because I’m curious what you amazing, strong and well-opinioned women will think of it, if you have time to take a look!

I know a lot of you are in frustrating TTC cycles or early pregnancy, which is the hardest part I think, so I’m sending you all love and support. Stay strong.

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Yesterday was my 13-week prenatal appointment. I have every other Friday off, but the same doctor isn’t always available on that day, so I’ve decided to see a different doctor each time, which is fine with Kaiser. My opinions about kaiser have changed a lot – I used to despise them, but we switched locations to a nicer one, and their prenatal care has really impressed me.i have United Healthcare now too, but I’ve been using Kaiser for now. I don’t even have co-pays, which is really nice. The benefit of seeing different doctors is getting different opinions and perspectives, and of course, that I don’t miss work and I can enjoy my prenatal appointments on my day off.

Yesterday, however, I finally had a doctor I didn’t like. He wasn’t horrible, but he rubbed me the wrong way, rattling off statistics about every question I brought up and not really listening to me. I appreciated his knowledge but his attitude was less than. I had these questions (this is just a sampling, all paraphrased, with what I would have liked to have said following in italics):

My question: Do I stay on aspirin 81 (the fertility clinic told me to ask my doctor)?

His answer: Fertility clinics do a lot of “hocus pocus mumbo jumbo” that’s based on research that’s already been disproven, ie, the theory that luteal phase support will reduce chance of miscarriage. I large research studies, pregnancies resulting from ART who were on progesterone, estrogen, and low dose aspirin had the same number of miscarriages as those without progesterone.

Okay fine, I appreciate the statistical info, but do you have to be rude about it and negate everything the clinic we just spent a year of our life trusting has told us?

My question: Since the subchorionic hematoma is still present, what are your recommendations for sex and exercise?

His answer: The only reason I would tell you not to exercise would be so that I’m not the only doctor telling you to go ahead, since every other doctor will say not to.

Okay, I appreciate the honesty since I know that bed rest is not helpful for miscarriage prevention unless the SH is really huge.

His continued answer: Well, for heterosexual couples, or couples who are sexually active, pelvic rest is a good idea.

Are you fucking kidding me? Do you think my fiancé and I don’t have sex because we’re lesbians? The reason for pelvic rest isn’t just to prevent penetration, it’s to ensure your uterus doesn’t contract unnecessarily. This doctor needs to so some research on working with LGBTQI couples!

My question: Does my fiancé need to get a T-DAP? Will you bring this up with her when she’s here? (So that J can talk to the doctors about it herself since she doesn’t like immunization sunless absolutely necessary.)

His answer: Well, it’s debatable whether or not she needs one, there is some evidence that whooping cough rates have increased, blah blah blah, then he says, we do recommend it for fathers who haven’t had it in the last few years. It depends on how much your fiancé will be around the baby.

Excuse me?!?!?! It’s her fucking baby too, why would she not be around the baby?! Would you say this to a heterosexual couple?!

Needless to say, the doctor seemed a little homophobic, or at least needs to improve his bedside manner when working with LGBTQI pregnancies. I’m disappointed because he actually had a ton of helpful information and statistics, but he was one of those people who don’t listen and talks and looks at his computer while working with patients. Gggrrrr!

During the ultrasound, he jiggled the transducer a tiny bit and the baby jumped up and down. It was cute, but also a little jarring. I’d asked him why she wasn’t moving, so he did I it in reaction to that. He didn’t get the best picture but she’s still adorable! For some reason she felt like being upside down 🙂

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More posts to come this week, I’m already behind on updates!

And I feel like some bird of paradise
My bad fortune slipping away
And I feel the innocence of a child
Everybody’s got something good to say.

-PJ Harvey, Good Fortune

I could tell you all of the “bad” things that have happened to me in the past few years, things I may have brought on myself in some ways, self-destructive patterns getting the best of me, and some just plain old bad luck, the kind that drags you down for no karmic reason and keeps you feeling bad about yourself and anxious for years.

But tonight, I want to share the two things that have actually blessed my life in the past few years, two experiences that stand out and shape my life for the better.

When J and I started dating after several years of being friends, things just slipped into place. With both of our lives falling apart around us, we would stay up late, drinking tequila, opening bottles of wine when we should have been going to bed, talking for hours, and eventually, well, not talking. It was magical. We would listen to an XX song and feel like it was about us. We would lie around for hours on a Saturday morning, sharing our knowledge
about psychology and architecture, respectively, feeling like we were tripping off of the dopamine and oxytocin our brains were making for each other. When J left for Europe for three weeks she left me a secret package full of gifts to tide me over, and sent me handwritten letters from her hotel rooms in the Alps. We weren’t sure what would happen, both coming out of long-term relationships and J, about to move to LA. One night when we were talking about this, I told her how lucky I felt, how I would never walk away from something so obvious, how I didn’t even feel like a good or gracious person, but somehow I had been graced with her love.

The second fortunate thing happened today, when I got our genetic testing results. I’d been refreshing my email frantically on my phone whenever I returned to my desk, knowing they’d be coming soon as they were already several days late. One of those times I was rewarded with an alert from Kaiser notifying me that the results were ready. I called J but she was at a meeting on a business trip in Arizona, so I opened the email myself (we had decided this would be okay ahead of time). The email said that our results came back negative for any type of Downs Syndrome or other chromosomal abnormality, and that the baby is likely a… GIRL! I’m ecstatic. I really felt like it would be a boy, simply because I wanted a girl so badly that I had jinxed it. I read it over and over again to be sure I wasn’t imagining it, but it really said a girl! A healthy baby girl, growing inside me! I’ve wanted a little girl for years. Of course I would’ve adored a boy and instantly been excited about him, too.

Soon I will let myself fantasize about names and clothes and so nursery, but I’m still a little cautious. For now, I just want to hug my baby but as she’s still inside me, I’ll settle for holding her tight in my belly.

First of all, thank you to Ladyloveandbabydust for generously sending me progesterone last week! It got to LA quickly and I didn’t have to order just a few pills, which would’ve been a huge hassle and delivery fee.

However, my level was tested at the fertility clinic yesterday and was only 17. 17 is perfectly acceptable, in fact it’s only concerning if it’s below 15, but the clinic likes it to be over 20 to be on the safe side, so they put me back on it. Ugh I was so excited to be done shoving powder pills up there all day long!

I requested to get a generic version from Kaiser thinking it would be cheaper and way easier to pick up (the fertility pharmacy is far away and had an expensive delivery charge), but when I picked it up from Kaiser it was $100 anyway.

The final part to my rant has to do with a burning sensation. I’ve heard mamaetmaman say before, that endometrian burns, and as I was arriving at work this morning, realizing my vagina was on fire, she popped into my mind. Ouch! As Gollum would say, “It burns us”!

However, I will go to great lengths to ensure our baby stays with us, so even kicking up my progesterone level a little and spending extra money is fine. I’m just not looking forward to torturing my private parts three times a day for two more weeks.

In other news, or lack thereof, our genetic testing results have not come back yet. I really look forward to knowing our baby is healthy, and can’t wait to see if it’s a boy or a girl! It’s going to make things so real… Hurry up, universe! And Verify.

I’ve lived in California for over 10 years and this was the first time I’ve been here for Christmas. We decided to stay because we weren’t out of the woods with the pregnancy yet, and because we just took a long vacation when we went to Italy. I had mixed feelings about it – it was nice to finally host, and not to have to travel, but I missed my sisters and the New England winter weather!

Christmas

Although J and I have run in the same circle for years, our parents have never met. We decided to get my mother and her parents together and it was really nice. I had to work on Christmas Eve, so by the time I walked in the door J had taken everyone out to lunch and they were old friends. My mom and I went to Unitarian service and J’s parents went to Catholic service, then we sat down to our feast. I made a salad with pumpkin seeds and cotija cheese and J made Spanish rice. My mom brought tamales from her neighborhood in New Mexico and made champurada, which is hot chocolate with blue corn and spices, for dessert, along with a Christmas cookie plate by yours truly. We had a delicious Christmas brunch too, complete with sticky buns made by my mom. J and I made Marcella Hazan’s homemade bolognese and bachemel lasagna for the third year in a row, a tradition we started and will keep forever. I even made a mini lasagna with vegetarian meat for myself. We had a relaxed day of opening presents, taking walks and well, for me, napping.

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We also took my mom out to a bar on Friday night! Not just any bar, but The Abby in West Hollywood, one of the allegedly best gay bars in the country! We used to hang out there, in fact, we were celebrating there the night gay marriage became legal in Cali, but in the past year we’ve been boring! My mom loved it, and she got to meet some of my fantastic friends. She had some fancy mojitos and got to watch the incredibly nimble dancers hang from the rafters.

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New Year’s Eve

We haven’t gone out on New Years for a couple of years and this wasn’t the year I would’ve thought we’d make it until midnight, but we did! I had to work all day so we couldn’t go to celebrate in San Diego. Instead, I spontaneously got us a great hotel room here in LA for the night, just to get away and enjoy an evening in a different setting (and, of course, to celebrate being off of pelvic rest!). After weeks of miserable nausea and lying around on the couch, we wanted to ring in the new year in a special environment. We went to the hotel bar when we arrived. While J had some wine, I had some… soup and seltzer. We then ordered a wood-fired pizza and ate it in the hotel room with a bottle of Prosecco and a box of chocolates. I had a few sips of bubbly but felt so guilty I couldn’t enjoy it, so went back to water. Aside from a nap around 10pm, I did make it until midnight!

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And at midnight, J got down on one knee and proposed to me again with my new engagement ring! It’s amazing. J designed it herself and it includes a diamond from her great aunt, and a tiny black diamond that was fairly-traded. If you recall, I couldn’t decide if I wanted bezel or tension set; well, my creative fiancé incorporated both! She totally nailed it; I LOVE this ring!

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I wish we could have our wedding before the baby comes, but at least we can start planning it again soon.

I’ll leave you with a picture of Giuliana and Gabriel, my niece and nephew (from different sisters), together at Christmas. I wasn’t there, which killed me, and I can’t wait to have Christmas with all three babies next year. Aren’t they adorable?

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It’s been a looooong time since my last post, so I’m going to do lots of pregnancy updates, then write another post about our holidays.

My mother was in town for Christmas. She’s a midwife so it was super helpful to have her here, and she got to accompany us to two prenatal appointments – our first official prenatal check-up and our genetic consultation. We went for lots of walks and talked about all things baby!

11 Weeks

Our first prenatal appointment was long, but just reviewed a lot of stuff we already know about health, nutrition, and the baby’s development. That ultrasound was awesome – the baby was floating up and down and waved a hand at us twice! Here’s our 11-week ultrasound pic from 12/23/14:

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Genetic Testing

On 12/26/14 we had our genetic test. My mom, J and I met with a counselor who asked the genetic history of J and the sperm donor. As J is an orphan and doesn’t have any known bio relatives, and our sperm donor is squeaky clean, it was very fast! The counselor drew a family tree that consisted of two branches, then said he was done. We brought our donor’s medical and genetic profile from Fairfax Cryobank, which he flipped through, but the donor has no medical issues and no remarkable family medical history. The counselor did a great job of explaining everything to us and outlining each available test. We had the non-invasive Verify blood test done, which is a cell-free fetal DNA test where they analyze pieces of the baby’s DNA from my bloodstream. It’s amazing to me that they can find out so much from my own bloodstream! We are still waiting for the results, which will notify us of any risk of Down’s Syndrome, Trisomy 13 and Trisomy 18. It will also tell us the sex of the baby.

Boy or Girl?

A side note on little boys and girls – I desperately want a healthy baby and will immediately be excited and embrace either sex or anything in between. I have a strong desire for a girl however, and we’re inviting our little one to be a little girl. I’ve always been a girl’s girl, I love everything female, both friends and lovers. I have two sisters, and I went to my mom’s alma mater women’s college. I was brought up to be a feminist. I love make-up and dresses and baking with my sis and girl talks. I know I’d have a great mother-daughter bond, but if we welcome a boy, I’m going to learn a whole lot and love that, too!

12 Weeks – Finally!

I didn’t have another appointment scheduled until next Friday, but yesterday I was having a tough time feeling like I could still miscarry. Every day I struggle with this, wondering if the baby is still okay. I called our nurse and she got me in at the end of the day for a reassuring ultrasound, which J
also showed up for!

Yesterday, 1/2/15, we finally reached 12 weeks!

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Morning Sickness

I’ve continued to struggle with awful morning sickness. The week before Christmas I threw up a few nights in a row. I’ve continued to wake up around 3am most nights feeling like there’s poison coursing through my veins. My cure is half an almond butter and jam sandwich and a cup of almond milk, which usually settles my stomach until the morning. I can’t eat Thai food, or anything very rich. I finally got a prescription for Zofran, which helps a lot, but some nights I still throw up. On Tuesday night I threw up dinner, then woke up in the morning and threw up bile on New Years Eve and went to work feeling totally dejected! I do feel grateful for the sickness at times; it’s a way for our baby to communicate to me that everything is okay.

Little Baby Belly

I’m not a big fan of belly pics, especially after struggling with weight gain for the past few years, but I’ve had some requests so I’ll do one once a month!

Generally people don’t start showing until 12-16 weeks, but I’m definitely already there! Due to the subchorionic hematoma, I haven’t been able to exercise very much. Add a lot of Christmas eating and morning sickness carbs and you get a bloated and quickly growing belly, which I’m trying to embrace!

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I’m finally able to work out again! I went for a run on New Year’s Day, huffing and puffing but loving every second. I’ve done a few workout videos with light weights too, and tonight I’m headed to a restorative yoga class and sound bath, which incorporates chanting and vibrational gongs! In a week I’ll be in the second trimester, and I can’t wait!

I’m going to make lots of long stories short because the most important part of my day is now bedtime, and with the 11 hours a day I’m not home, I have to fight for my sleep!

Last Friday was my day off (I work a 9/80 schedule) so I spent most of my day at the doctor’s office. At Kaiser you have to sign up for prenatal care and have a consultation which takes about an hour, plus I had another ultrasound. The nurse made all of my routine prenatal appointments through March. I have two insurances, and although for now I’m using Kaiser, I’m also going to see another private doctor in January and see which I want to stick with.

The ultrasound went well. I asked the doctor for a very accurate measurement, since I’d been sobbing at my last ultrasound and the doctor had done an incorrect measurement. This time, baby was exactly on target at 9w1d!

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On my way home from the doctor I got rear-ended on a quiet side street where I was slowly approaching a green light. The guy must have been on his phone because it was not a hectic intersection. He was very apologetic so I didn’t even tell him I was pregnant because it would have made him feel worse. My mom and J then insisted I go back to urgent care just in case, so I spent another hour at the doctor!

I did a bunch of bloodwork Saturday morning, most importantly my thyroid. Since I’ve been pregnant my dose has increased to 100mcg 4x/week, 50 on the other days, and my level is only 1.15 now, down from about 5. I was supposed to do a sugar level test by drinking this nasty orange stuff but the lab didn’t have it so I escaped it for another week!

I haven’t had another ultrasound since then. We’ve become used to having 1-2 a week which is too many, so I’m trying to make it until next Tuesday when the next one is scheduled. My mom will be here and it’ll be nice to have here there. I think constantly about having a miscarriage though, analyzing every bit of spotting or change in my nausea. I talk to the baby every day on our way to work. Please stay, you’re going to love living here, I love you already, how are you?

This may be the last week I can wear my old pants to work. The biggest ones are already too tight. I’ve only gained two pounds which is amazing with how much I have to eat to fend off the nausea, but it’s all in my belly. I wear a lot of dresses anyway, and it looks like it’s time to buy some maternity ones!

I’m getting excited about Christmas, which is absolutely my favorite holiday, but I’m so nervous about the baby that I can’t relax. We also have our genetic consultation and bloodwork next Friday. Because I’m over 35, we’re having a non-invasive test which is done around 10 weeks. Most women with a hematoma go on limited movement or bed rest, but our doctors say there is no reason for that and I wouldn’t be able to do it anyway because of work, so I’m taking brisk short walks and stretching. I miss kickboxing videos and yoga class!

By New Years I hope J and I are breathing a lovely sigh of relief!

This post is named for one of my all-time favorite songs by Alix Olsen, an incredible lesbian feminist slam poet and artist.

*TMI and threatened miscarriage mentioned

The last 24 hours have been so heart-wrenching, confusing, and exhausting. I spent the weekend engrossed in morning sickness, waking up at 3am to throw up, throwing up before we went out Saturday night, throwing up after lunch in Sunday. It was reassuring but so nasty! I was also exhausted, taking naps throughout the day. Sunday night I gave in and took unisom and B6 so that I could function at work Monday.

Yesterday the sickness was definitely better, but I was still so tired. I could barely shower and eat dinner after work. Once we were settled on the couch watching Intervention (our latest obsession), I went to the bathroom and found blood. A lot. I called J and she looked at it and we decided it was just the hematoma. A few minutes later, however, I felt it gushing. It was literally dripping out of me. J called the after-hours nurses line and we WAITED forty-five minutes for the nurse to call us back, only to ask me my symptoms and confirm we should go to the ER, which is what I was planning to do anyway. At the ER, we WAITED over an hour, were triaged, then told there were seven people more urgent ahead of me, possibly another two-hour WAIT. I went to the nurse’s station to tell the check-in nurse that we were leaving. He said, and I quote, “Well, if you want me to be honest with you, if you’re bleeding that much before twenty weeks, it’s probably a miscarriage.” I was floored. I snapped at him that I have a hematoma and that’s actually not necessarily true, then realized I was talking to a man who thought it was okay to say what he said in the first place. A casual, heartless, asshole thing to say that didn’t require a response. Let me just point out, not that I have to, that a female nurse would never say such a thing. On the way to the parking garage I burst into tears. I felt like I was starting to dread, to morn, to have the feeling of finding out about a miscarriage.

We somehow went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night still bleeding out clots. Today I WAITED through an absolutely mandatory all-day training. My psychologist license expires at the end of this month and I needed the in-person CEUs to renew it. On the way there, I talked to a Kaiser nurse who scheduled me mercilessly for a 4:00pm ultrasound. The training was excellent, thank goodness, and it kept me somewhat distracted all day. A lunch I explained what was happening to the LA DMH training facilitator what was happening, and she was sympathetic but told me she wasn’t comfortable giving me the CEU certificate if I left the training, so I forced myself to stay until the end, more WAITING. She also told me about her own miscarriage (thanks, I really needed to hear that right then).

Traffic on the 110 to Kaiser was horrific; basically, stopped most of the way. By that time I was resigned, knowing I was late, baby may or not be inside me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about either but WAIT.

My phone died. J had called me on the freeway to say she was there waiting for me, but at the medical office I couldn’t find her. I asked the nurses frantically if they could contact her, but they couldn’t find or get ahold of her cell either. The nurse put me in the exam room to WAIT for the doctor and I finally lost it, just say there crying. I’d held it together all day, put on a nice outfit and make-up, found a nice sandwich shop for lunch, participated throughout the training. I let myself go. The nurse and doctor finally came in and I explained why I was freaking out, then as he was about to put the ultrasound wand in, J knocked on the door and rushed in. He put the wand in and there was my baby, heart throbbing, and bigger than last week. Sweet relief, more tears; the waiting was over.

Fetal heart rate is 171 today. Measurement 8.5 weeks, exactly where we should be.

I still feel amped up, like something scary is happening. It was a long time to not know what was going on. The doctor explained that every time I have a bleed that bad, the only way to know that the baby is okay is to have an ultrasound. He also said that having so much blood with clotting and cramps is normal for a hematoma, and I may bleed again.

At least I know what to expect if it happens again. The first time it happened, at six weeks, I also had cramping, but this time was somehow scarier. We’d graduated from the fertility clinic and I just wasn’t expecting it, and it was more blood than I’d had previously. Before we left the office, J said something very wise, that we’d already had to go through one real miscarriage, let’s not feel like we’re having another one until it really happens.

Here I am, back on the couch, trying to calm down. Checking my pulse, looking at pictures of the baby’s pulse. I want to start enjoying this pregnancy and getting excited, but I guess at this point, just staying calm for a few days will be a step in the right direction.

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We had a good ultrasound this morning. Our doctor kept saying how much the fetus has grown! She showed us the flickering heartbeat immediately, and we couldn’t believe how big the baby has gotten in just a week!

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The heartbeat was 160 bpm – sweet relief! Oh wow, it was such a fantastic feeling!

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We “graduated” from our fertility clinic. Our doctor said that we have less than 10% chance of miscarriage now. I’m still cautious, but much more excited now. Our doctor gave us a USB with pics of all our ultrasounds, and we got to write our initials and due date on a dot and hang it on their baby calendar. Our doctors and IVF coordinator gave us big hugs, and our awesome nurse did a birthday dance for me 🙂 I’m going to miss them a lot; they’ve been such a great team.

I want to write more but I’m so tired! Work was very busy today and J took me out for dinner. Every year of my childhood my sisters and I got a homemade ice cream cake with Oreo cookie crust. I love strawberry shortcake ice cream bars, so this year J got creative and made me a strawberry shortcake ice cream cake! It was incredible!

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I’ll write a longer post this weekend when the holiday traveling and eating calm down, but I wanted to share with everyone that our baby is okay. I don’t take this baby for granted for one second. Every day that goes by I feel grateful that s/he is still around, and hopeful that s/he’ll stay.

We had another ultrasound yesterday, at 6 weeks, 6 days. Instead of the fertility clinic, we did it at Kaiser, which was free, not even a co-pay; way better than our usual $300! The wait was long, though, and the ultrasound quality way lower.

I explained to the doctor that we did IVF, that we hadn’t graduated from the fertility clinic yet, that I had a MC this summer and that I had a hematoma and bled out last week.
He immediately reassured me that baby is still alive and well. He showed us the hematoma, but it was hard to see and not nearly as clear as last week. I don’t know if it was just the machine, or if it reduced in size in the last week.

The heartbeat was 114 bpm. I was hoping for higher but it’s completely normal. He measured the fetus at 6 weeks, 4 days, which is also normal. Just hang on, little one! Keep growing!

We drove to San Diego last night with cooking in tow – I made cranberry sauce, cornbread stuffing, apple pie and pumpkin pie. I love homemade T day food! J’s mom made an organic turkey, cheesy potatoes, and green bean casserole. This morning we took a long walk – my first exercise in days! It’s 80 degrees here and sunny.

My symptoms are pretty reassuring too – totally breathless, boobs extremely sore, nauseous all day.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates! I’m so grateful for my WP community of compassionate, intelligent and caring women.

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