J and I got engaged just before they announced that the Supreme Court would be ruling on federal same-sex marriage in July, which would have been just in time for us to get a marriage license and seal the deal before Glitter was to enter our world and require legal documentation that we are both her mothers. We’ve since changed our minds about getting legally married before she comes, thanks to some legal consultations and complicated finances and tax issues, BUT Friday came as a happy surprise that means so much more than just my own marriage status.

Fifteen years ago, at age 22, I sat with my old girlfriend in Massachusetts watching news coverage on civil unions. I understood why other couples would want to get married, but I had mixed feelings about the legal aspects. First of all, at the time I didn’t believe in marriage and wasn’t interested in getting married myself. I’ve always been skeptical about lifelong commitment and whether it’s natural and realistic. My father is a divorce lawyer and I’ve grown up with few role models of satisfied marriage. My own parents were in the middle of a divorce at the time, after 30 years of being together. I believed that marriage was for religious people, and having grown up in an extremely liberal and agnostic environment, I just didn’t see why non-heterosexual people would want to go there.

Fast forward to my late-twenties. All of a sudden I wanted committment, a child, a life partner. I was exhausted and disenchanted with dating and with the insecurity of new relationships and breakups. I wanted a family, a house, boring weekday evenings and Saturday mornings playing in the backyard. I had been going to Unitarian Universalist church for a few years and was softer about religion and spirituality. I was very, very hopeful that one day I too would walk down an isle, probably not in a church but somewhere, in a simple white dress, towards the love of my life. I now completely understand why same-sex marriage is so important; we just want to same rights, protections, responsibilities and legitimacies of everyone else.

My own life aside, seeing the plaintiff couples celebrate this victory is incredible. They have spent years living married life without the societal benefits, living as interracial couples had to once do; living as second-class families. I am so happy for them, and for the hundreds of thousands of couples this law effects. I am happy for the bigger picture, the symbolic and political aspects of this decision. And as a huge Obama supporter, I am so proud that this came during his term.

Friday night we felt the excitement and headed to West Hollywood to hear the mayors of WeHo and LA speak at a rally. The plaintiffs from Tennessee were there with their children and also spoke. It was moving and historic. Since I reached full term and my doctor okayed it, I even had a beer! We also went to The Abby, but I was uncomfortable being in a club with my huge belly so we just saw some friends and were out of there around 9pm! Here are pictures of the rally and of the screen at The Abby:



Months ago I also planned on seeing Jurassic World a few weeks before the baby was born, knowing it would be one of our last loud, indulgent, thrilling 3D movies for awhile. I can’t believe that day is here! J and I both love fantasy actions, like Godzilla, Avatar, and The Hobbit. I’m soooo excited to see those dinosaurs in a few hours!


I can’t believe we’re full-term. I can’t believe Thursday is my last day of work! I’m so excited to hug my baby girl!

Of course I’ll add a pic of Giuliana and me last fall, just as a reminder of what it’s going to feel like!