I wrote this last week:

Saturday morning, for a few hours, I felt the joy of the second trimester. It was amazing. It felt a world apart from the fear, anxiety and constant nausea of the past few months, and I couldn’t wait to share it with you! It quickly slipped out of my hands (see my previous post about throwing up all over creation and missing a day of work) but I know it will be back in a few days, and I am sooo excited!

I want to continue the post now that another week has gone by. I’m starting to love being pregnant. I always knew that if I was ever pregnant (which was doubtful until last year) I would love it. This faith comes from my love of my body, exercise, food, and all things natural, emotional and human. I didn’t think I’d ever be a mom, but now that it’s becoming a reality, I’m truly loving it. I’m still nauseous – in fact, I drove home from the grocery store today gagging – but it’s lessening and the fun stuff is starting to happen.

Now that we’re feeling a little more confident and stating to think about preparing for a healthy pregnancy and childbirth, I’ve been exercising every day. This week I did two forty-minute runs (stopping to walk a few times), a workout step-up box and weights work out video, my prenatal barre video which is HARD, a Zumba class that kicked my ass (literally), and yesterday I rode my bike to prenatal yoga and back. I feel great except for the gagging part.

I’ve waited for months to join prenatal yoga, and due to the hematoma I wasn’t going to my yoga studio at all, so being back feels like coming home. The studio is an artsy, spiritual grassroots place with an indoor studio and an outdoor studio surrounded by trees and flowers, right in the center of LA. It’s fantastic. I’ve never been to a yoga class to make friends, and the camaraderie in this class is astounding. Moms introduce themselves, chit chat about their pregnancies, and are super supportive of each other. Yesterday I met another lesbian and we talked about donors and fertility clinics. There are also some partners and grandmothers attending. The prenatal instructor is a doula. She gives variations for different trimesters throughout the class. Some postnatal women bring their babies, and yesterday the instructor carried one of the babies around for awhile, demonstrating poses with him in her arms (the mama was fine with it). It’s such an open, fun and supportive environment. I’ve made a like-minded friend who is also an older first time mom. It is so nice to be surrounded by pregnant ladies to talk to, since I don’t know anyone else who is pregnant. We’re going to have lunch after yoga in two weeks.

I’m also really enjoying food. It’s nice to desire healthy food after two months of eating morning sickness food like Pringles (yes, I ate Pringles, and a lot of other unmentionables). I’m still eating a lot of grilled cheese and tomato soup, but I’ve also been able to stomach kale, tofu, fresh salads, lots of fruit, and Korean bibimbap, and I’m not interested in junk food.

J is excited too. Now that I’m showing, she talks to the baby a lot through my belly. She’s tried to listen to her move around a few times but of course she just hears my digesting noises. Last night we went to a dinner party at her office and she introduced me to several people as her “pregnant fiancé”! It was embarrassing but funny. I think it was a good time for her to share the news with a lot of her colleagues she doesn’t often talk to on a personal level. I wore high heals and when we got home my feet were killing me. J was so sweet. She lit some candles and got out some massage oil and gave me an incredible foot massage! I love getting special treatment from her because it feels like we’re celebrating the baby together.

The only thing I’m a little anxious about is figuring out where we’re going to live. We looked at houses and made some offers last fall, but decided to hold off in buying a house. Now that we’ve decided our apartment is definitely not where we want to become moms, we’re ready to pounce on some houses, get into escrow and move in while we still have time. Renting a house is also an option, as buying in LA is so horrific, so we’re keeping our options open.

That is my 2nd trimester update. My love and hope goes out to all of you who are in different stages of grieving, fearing, hoping and celebrating. You’re all such strong women and incredible mamas-to-be.

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