Our ultrasound went really well. Waiting at the clinic, I felt so nervous that I thought I might throw up, and right before we saw the heartbeat, I felt my own heart skip a beat and then beat irregularly. I was so nervous that it took some of the fun out of it, but we saw a tiny heartbeat, too small for the Doppler even to measure. It was so adorable, pounding away in there! The gestational sac and yolk sac were perfect, measuring exactly 6 weeks, 0 days, which is what we are, me and our little baby. Our doctor is excellent; she explained before we started what we needed to see – the sacs – and what we hoped to see – a heartbeat – but that it was possible the heartbeat wouldn’t be detectable yet, and that was okay. She also said that even though we had a miscarriage after a good heartbeat in July, our risk of another one after this heartbeat is still very low.

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She put the US probe in and as usual, it hurt. No big deal, I just wanted to see my baby. It was a long US and she spent a lot of time trying to pick the heartbeat up on the Doppler and searching around my uterus.

I was honestly so nervous I don’t think it even sank in that I had a great US. Even back at my office, my heart was beating so fast and my stomach was in knots.

I focused on work all afternoon, and when I was getting ready to leave, I felt a little gush. I went to the bathroom and found bright red blood and some clotting. I also had cramping and sharp pains, not overwhelming but definitely there. I emailed my doctor from the toilet because I was on my way out and had my phone. She emailed back five minutes later – bless her heart – to say that there was no need to worry, bleeding was probably caused by the ultrasound, and to stay off my feet tonight and let them know if it “gets heavy like a period” or continues tomorrow.

My mother the wonderful midwife reiterated this, and said that I likely have a “friable cervix” which means it’s very sensitive and bleeds easily. I bleed and cramp just from a Pap smear. So here I am, lying on the couch with my feet up, just praying that I have an “angry cervix,” as one of my favorite bloggers would say. The bleeding and clotting is continuing. My friend said that she had bright red blood and cramping in her pregnancy too, and she has a gorgeous five-year-old.

Thank you for your incredibly supportive comments earlier today; it was so comforting to read then in the way to the US! You guys are awesome.

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