We spent Labor Day weekend in Albuquerque celebrating my mom’s birthday and I got to see my niece Giuliana again. I met her at Christmas when she was 8 weeks; now she’s 10 months! J and I sat on my mom’s front porch anticipating the arrival of my sister, brother-in-law, and said baby, and it occurred to me that she may not know who I was and let me hold her. When the car door opened and she saw me though, she let me take her. I was immediately enamored of this incredible little girl. She’s already crawling, laughing, making silly facial expressions. It’s so amazing to see this new person! Now I understand what people mean when they say babies are a “new addition to the family.” She looks like us and literally grew out of our family!

We hiked twice during the weekend, and went out for pizza and dancing with my mom’s friends. Did you know that when you have a baby around, you start crawling around the house and playing with blocks?! It was so fun. I would crawl around the kitchen island playing peek-a-boo with her, and she would laugh like crazy. She hiked (in her baby bjorn of course, courtesy of her dad) at the top of the Sandia peak. She salsa danced a little in my arms, blowing her lips, which she thinks is the most hilarious thing ever. My sister, brother-in-law and I cooked a gorgeous dinner for mom, and J, blessed partner that she is, hung out with my 89-year-old grandmother and Giuliana the whole time. Seeing her rocked my world.

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Needless to say, it gave me baby fever, which is good timing since I haven’t been ready to have baby fever since my miscarriage. Next week we meet with our fertility doctor to discuss what happened during our miscarriage and how we want to move forward.

I’m really sick with a bad head cold and J is out of town on business. I miss her a lot and she’s going to be out of town for pretty much the next week. It’s 90 degrees in LA and will get up to 97 this weekend, and we don’t have air conditioning. Work is stressful and I have a packed schedule until we leave for vacation. All of this makes and anticipation of going to Europe better! In Italy I will also get to see my even little nephew, Gabriel, and get more doses of baby! After we get back, it may be time for our FET. I’m not overly excited, because anything could happen, but I’m definitely ready.

Before I go, I want to say that I’m thinking of a few amazing WP couples tonight who have put their all into TTC, only to have repeated CPs and MCs. I am so sorry. I don’t understand why this happens to the couples who are ready and willing to be amazing parents. Sending you love, strength, and hope for the future of all of our little sparks.

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