I just went to an Italian language meet up in a great part of LA and had fantastic food and conversation. I’ve never been to one so was a little nervous, but felt instantly comfortable surrounded by a small group of friendly, like-minded Italian speakers. We introduced ourselves, drank prosecco, and spoke in Italian for two hours. (I suppose a little bit of English was also uttered.)

Putting myself out there socially in LA has been difficult. I don’t want to put any roots down here and it’s difficult to get around, so I haven’t bothered to make many friends. As I sat listening to bubbly, intelligent people share their connections to Italy, I felt I’d been missing out. We ate wood fired pizza with fresh produce and real mozzarella, which got me really excited to be in Italy. There was an industrial-organizational psychologist, a woman who lives near me and attends my yoga studio, and another woman who went to a Seven Sisters college like I did. I always think I don’t have anything in common with people in LA, but it’s possible to find community when you’re looking for it.

I’d rather sit around a restaurant having drinks and chatting than most other activities. I love running, writing, cooking and going out to eat. It struck me that once we have a baby I won’t do as many of these things, at least for the first few years, if ever. I’ve already had years of happy hours and wine bars and friends, but I’ve missed it this past year. I was so caught up in J’s egg stimulation, the TWW, the excitement of pregnancy, and the confusion and sadness of miscarriage. Of course I was – it all means so much to me and honestly, I can’t wait to be caught up in it again. I’m glad that in the meantime though, I’m moving on and forward until it’s time again.

Work has been so stressful. I’ve been focused on cleaning, budgeting, trying to get sleep – all the everyday mundanity. I think everyday about the miscarriage and the future. While we’re trying to conceive, or in-between tries, or deciding whether or not to even move forward in the near future, there are wonderful things to do and I’m going to do them!