We headed down to San Diego early yesterday morning to show one of J’s rental properties. We stay at her parent’s house, which they only live in during the winter. J’s house and rental properties are in a different neighborhood, so while she did house stuff, I decided to go for a run. I’d gone back to working out the day before – a heart-pumping hour of aerobics and weights which felt great, considering how bloated I was. The aerobics had felt great so I thought I was ready to go back to running. It was a hot day and I sweated around South Park blissfully. There’s something really exhilarating about running in the heat. I took it easy, just did a slow jog, and stretched afterwards, but I didn’t feel well afterwards. We also went for a burrito, which is usually a normal meal for my stomach, but just didn’t sit well. Back at J’s parents’ house I showered and curled up in the sun for a nap with her. When I woke up, I went to pee and found blood.

I was terrified. I rushed into the bedroom to show her the blood. It wasn’t a lot, but I hadn’t had any bleeding at all in this whole process. J paged the doctor at the fertility clinic and I was crying. I thought for sure something horrible was happening. One of the doctors called us back and was very reassuring. She reminded us that the embryo is still burrowing deeper into my uterus, creating small “lakes” of blood which then need to shed. She said if there was a lot of blood or clotting, we could come into the clinic any morning, including Sunday, to have an ultrasound, but that they would only be able to see a gestational sac since I was only 5 weeks, 3 days. She said that bleeding is normal in the first trimester and that I should monitor it and take it easy. I told her about the run and she said no more exercise for a week.

I was very scared. The blood was unexpected; after my final beta last week, I felt really sure that the little nugget was sticking around. I always felt like we were at risk of not getting pregnant, but once that was confirmed, due to the high quality of egg and sperm, my endometrial lining being very thick, my uterus looking good, and being on progesterone, I felt like we were at low risk of miscarriage. At the same time, miscarriage can happen anytime in the beginning, for multiple reasons. Once my beta went up and up, I started feeling more excited about things, so it was really terrifying to see the blood. It continued for a couple of hours and then turned brown. Thank goodness I read some forums about brown blood because I’ve never in my life seen anything come out of me this color!

We went to a friend’s birthday dinner. I took it easy. I had a delicious cucumber-ginger mocktail. I had a healthy halibut dinner and creme fraiche gelato and started to feel more relaxed about things.

By morning the blood was gone. On our drive back to LA I started to feel sick. Nauseous and more nauseous. I hope this is a good sign. We decided that the little nugget was just nesting – it got overheated during my run, was disturbed, moved to a different spot in my uterus, then gathered some sticks and fur, built a nest, made me bleed, and curled up again to go to sleep. I hope it’s comfortable and I promise not to run in the heat anymore! I hate not exercising and will go back to it when the doctor clears me to, but I’ll take it easy and do lighter, shorter workouts.

Tomorrow is my first day at the new job. I’m super excited, and all my morning sickness stuff is packed – peanut butter pretzels, ginger candies, etc. Wish me luck – it’s take-your-nugget-to-work day!