Is there a tiny Korean-Italian nugget inside me? I tried to wait until my Beta or at least the day before (which is today). But we had 2 tests leftover from when J had to confirm her trigger shot with the clinic and my conception friend was testing yesterday morning so of course I did too. Read on.

4DP5DT: Saturday we spent the whole day shopping at an outdoor mall to update my professional wardrobe for my new job, and add to J’s architecture meeting garb. I felt so many implantation cramps that I was very optimistic. I’m certain that I know exactly where that embie burried into my uterus: very low on the right side. I felt tiny sharp pains, cramping and a pulling sensation for three days. Anyway, I went into several baby stores but chickened out. Finally J found this, bless her heart I know she was just humoring me!:

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5DP5DT: Yesterday I woke up and took a test right away. It was 5DP5DT, too early, but I got this:

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The day was fraught with mixed anxiety and excitement. I sent the pic to my mom and sis who both saw the very faint second line. J said she saw the line but it was too early and she wasn’t going to add to my crazy-making. I bought brand-name pregnancy tests and decided to try again.

6DP5DT: This morning I tested again and got this (enhanced with black-and-white filter):

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What do you think out there in blog land?

I googled “very faint line on pregnancy test” and the concensus is that a very faint line means positive. My mother’s a midwife and she agrees. However, I’m very familiar with the risks of getting excited. Even if my Beta tests positive, I’m going to be ready for anything until the next few days, weeks and then months are over. But it’s the Year of the Horse and J’s my good luck charm so here’s hoping!

Side note: Last night we went to see Uh Huh Her! Diehard lesbian culture fans out there, you know who I mean. I remember watching the movie All Over Me my first year of college and how adorable Leisha Hailey was. Then I got into The Murmers and listened to “Genius” on repeat for a year. Of course I’ve seen every episode of The L Word once or twice. Because the concert was in West Hollywood, the mecca of L Word-type actresses, Katherine Moennig (the coveted Shane) was in the audience last night! Also I ordered my first non-alcoholic beer ever (I have to have a bottle in my hand at a concert) and it was actually pretty good!

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