I’ve been noticing a lot of universal alignment. For several months this past winter I didn’t feel much of it; these were sad and frustrating days mostly spent resenting Los Angeles. My partner always says that things are going to start happening for me, that 2014 is my year, it’s the Year of the Horse, my Chinese zodiac, I’m finally a licensed professional, and all kinds of exciting things would rain down on me. I saw a lot of dry days but recently, I feel drizzle. Some days I even get a downpour! The day I started my mock cycle, the morning of my new job offer, and our first day of stimulation were downpour days.

I’ve finally agreed on a start date for my new job. My last day of work at my current position is June 13, a few days before my BETA. I’m going to take a week off the regroup (and find out if I’m pregnant!) before I start the new job. I was nervous to put my notice in because my current boss can be hot and cold and because I wasn’t completely settled in the decision. We had a long talk in her office when I brought her my letter of resignation. I told her that I couldn’t turn down the new offer, both financially and in terms of experience, and that I really appreciated the clinic and the work I had been able to do there. Her first reaction was to say that if it was a step in the right direction then she was all for it, and that my new employer would surely benefit from my work. She understood that the money was hard to turn down and that she had had a job earlier in her own career that she now wishes she had left sooner. She mentioned that choosing to stay in a job sometimes required considering the long-term payoffs. I thought maybe that comment eluded to reasons I should consider staying there, but I’m not sure. I don’t see many payoffs to staying in this job. The testing experience is great and the possibility of becoming a supervisor eventually, but I will have both of those things at my new job. All in all it felt good to get things out on the table and have her support.

I also told my current boss about the IVF. We were having an open discussion and I’ve had so many “medical appointments” I’ve had to be late to work for I figured it couldn’t hurt. She looked genuinely excited for my partner and I. I had no idea what she thought of my unexplained medical issues but with my age and how healthy I am I figured she may guess it was pregnancy-related.

Another odd thing has been happening at my office with babies and intuition. I work in a training clinic and several of the interns, some of whom are middle-aged and very insightful, have been asking me if I’m thinking of having a baby. I’ve never mentioned anything like this to any of them. How do they know?! It’s someone different each week, and always in a totally different context. Very strange and sends happy shivers down my spine! I believe in synchronicity. My partner calls it chaos theory. We’ve had many wine-soaked conversations about chaos theory in which we’ve discovered some fun collisions of words and meaning between our two professions. For example, in architecture, tangential has to do with the geometry that helps shape a building, and in psychology it refers to a client’s thought process veering off-topic. Triangulation in her world is how you use two points to locate a third, and in my world it’s how a family member or job or substance comes between the emotional connection of two people. She has explained chaos theory to me but I have to admit, I still don’t fully comprehend it. All I know is my incomprehensible experiences. Two years ago, when a personal tragedy hit me here in California, my little sister pulled over to the side of the road in Connecticut freaking out. She called my dad and told him something bad was happening to someone in our family; it was me. When I announced to my family that I was dating J and she was coming home for Christmas with me, my little sister said she had bought a new set of plates for Christmas dinner, and that she had bought an extra one but she hadn’t known who it was for at the time; it was for J. This intuition is so cool to me! I see it all the time, usually in smaller ways. I’m currently scoring a Rorschach test I administered to a client. I haven’t administered an inkblot in a few years or even thought about it. The morning I was working on it I started listening to a new audiobook, Flowers for Algernon, which opens with a Rorschach test scene! Interesting.

I’ll stop going on an on about universal circumstances and give an update already! J is feeling much better. She was pretty bloated and crampy but every day it gets a little better. Since today was Sunday we didn’t hear about our embryos but I’m sure they’re coming along in their incubator. Our transfer is scheduled for Tuesday at 1pm. I’d rather have it done in the morning and not waste a whole day off but I decided I’d go to yoga in the morning and maybe the relaxation will help me and the embryos connect! J and I have had lots of research and debates about how many embryos to transfer. Our IVF coordinator called us this morning to solidify the transfer time and everything. She said our doctor will make a recommendation based on J’s age and the development of the embryos. Meanwhile, it’s been nice not to have to think about medical stuff and to enjoy our weekend!

Advertisements