Archives for the month of: June, 2014

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I started this blog as a way to document our decision to do reciprocal IVF, and the process, so other lesbians choosing this path could learn about it and I could meet others doing egg sharing. It’s quickly turned into a pregnancy blog! It happened so fast, I just can’t believe it. I feel incredibly lucky and also like I’m living in a dream. I’m so aware of my audience, of the different experiences and paths all of you strong women are going through. I respect and honor all of the joys, sorrows, doubts, and frustrations of every blogger I follow and every blogger who follows this blog.

I want to share our first ultrasound! It was crazy in a good way. We woke up early Saturday morning and rushed to the clinic. We were both exhausted from my insomnia, which keeps both of us up. Our doctor did a vaginal u/s and found a gestational sac and a yolk sac. There was also a tiny flickering heartbeat! 113 bpm. We heard it and saw it strong and adorable on the machine! She said everything looked great and it was the best possible outcome. Most importantly, there was only one! No twins. For a second I was really disappointed but that quickly turned into relief; relief that the baby wouldn’t have the risk that comes with multiples, and relief that I wouldn’t be physically carrying multiples.

We only have one more u/s at the fertility clinic; our doctor said we’ll graduate at 8 weeks. They say the first trimester, but from what I’ve read on other blogs, it’s usually 8 weeks. The doctor also said that prior to the u/s our miscarriage risk was about 50%, but now she guesses it’s down to 20%. I don’t understand this statistics stuff – last weekend when I bled, my mother (who’s a midwife) said the risk was 50%, but the on-call doctor from our clinic said it was “much lower” than that, but it turns out it probably was 50%. Can’t doctors from the same clinic have the same idea about such things?! We don’t even believe any of our clinic’s fertility stats because they haven’t done research on lesbian couples with no history of fertility problems anyway, so who knows.

We spent the morning in bliss, calling our families and emailing them the video J took of the heartbeat. We also got two books – What to Expect, of course, as a daily reference, and The Complete Organic Pregnancy by Deirdre Dolan and Alexandra Zissu. I’m in morning sickness hell. It started at exactly 6 weeks, 1 day. I spent the weekend gagging, not throwing up, unfortunately, eating lots of nasty crackers I’m now sick of, and lying around feeling yucky. I’m glad to have symptoms because I know they’re good signs, but man I’m sore, tired, queasy, dizzy and short of breath!

I’m still adjusting to the new job and haven’t had much time or energy for blogging, but my next post will surely cover it, especially having morning sickness alllllll dayyyyy long when no one around you knows what’s wrong!

We headed down to San Diego early yesterday morning to show one of J’s rental properties. We stay at her parent’s house, which they only live in during the winter. J’s house and rental properties are in a different neighborhood, so while she did house stuff, I decided to go for a run. I’d gone back to working out the day before – a heart-pumping hour of aerobics and weights which felt great, considering how bloated I was. The aerobics had felt great so I thought I was ready to go back to running. It was a hot day and I sweated around South Park blissfully. There’s something really exhilarating about running in the heat. I took it easy, just did a slow jog, and stretched afterwards, but I didn’t feel well afterwards. We also went for a burrito, which is usually a normal meal for my stomach, but just didn’t sit well. Back at J’s parents’ house I showered and curled up in the sun for a nap with her. When I woke up, I went to pee and found blood.

I was terrified. I rushed into the bedroom to show her the blood. It wasn’t a lot, but I hadn’t had any bleeding at all in this whole process. J paged the doctor at the fertility clinic and I was crying. I thought for sure something horrible was happening. One of the doctors called us back and was very reassuring. She reminded us that the embryo is still burrowing deeper into my uterus, creating small “lakes” of blood which then need to shed. She said if there was a lot of blood or clotting, we could come into the clinic any morning, including Sunday, to have an ultrasound, but that they would only be able to see a gestational sac since I was only 5 weeks, 3 days. She said that bleeding is normal in the first trimester and that I should monitor it and take it easy. I told her about the run and she said no more exercise for a week.

I was very scared. The blood was unexpected; after my final beta last week, I felt really sure that the little nugget was sticking around. I always felt like we were at risk of not getting pregnant, but once that was confirmed, due to the high quality of egg and sperm, my endometrial lining being very thick, my uterus looking good, and being on progesterone, I felt like we were at low risk of miscarriage. At the same time, miscarriage can happen anytime in the beginning, for multiple reasons. Once my beta went up and up, I started feeling more excited about things, so it was really terrifying to see the blood. It continued for a couple of hours and then turned brown. Thank goodness I read some forums about brown blood because I’ve never in my life seen anything come out of me this color!

We went to a friend’s birthday dinner. I took it easy. I had a delicious cucumber-ginger mocktail. I had a healthy halibut dinner and creme fraiche gelato and started to feel more relaxed about things.

By morning the blood was gone. On our drive back to LA I started to feel sick. Nauseous and more nauseous. I hope this is a good sign. We decided that the little nugget was just nesting – it got overheated during my run, was disturbed, moved to a different spot in my uterus, then gathered some sticks and fur, built a nest, made me bleed, and curled up again to go to sleep. I hope it’s comfortable and I promise not to run in the heat anymore! I hate not exercising and will go back to it when the doctor clears me to, but I’ll take it easy and do lighter, shorter workouts.

Tomorrow is my first day at the new job. I’m super excited, and all my morning sickness stuff is packed – peanut butter pretzels, ginger candies, etc. Wish me luck – it’s take-your-nugget-to-work day!

My mom left last night after a wonderful week of sunshine and play! Los Angeles, from my perspective, is at its best when I’m showing guests around. Our first day we went to Korean BBQ and the Koreatown Galleria, then downtown to Olvera Street, a Mexican market (hey it’s not San Diego, but it’s okay). On Tuesday we headed west to Santa Monica pier where we had burgers and fries, then hung out in Venice on the boardwalk, where cannabis wafted around my head along with visions of Jim Morrison. My mom loved Venice; the architecture, the spread-out beach, the Rasta guys smiling everywhere.

Mom and I on Venice Beach

Mom and I on Venice Beach

Back at home I made Thai green curry with red sticky rice and my friend came over to meet my mom. I’m perfecting my Thai cooking slowly, and with the addition of some secret ingredients, it’s getting better! I hear warm anti-inflammatory food is great for the fetus, so bring it on! Wednesday we headed back to Point Dume in Malibu – I had to share the gorgeous blue and green water, the sand dune hike, and the quiet, rocky beach with my mom. She loves hiking and spends much of her free time trekking around New Mexico, climbing mesas and camping with her other free-spirited retirement friends. She’s a great person to hike with and loves the beach!

Hiking trails over secluded beach

Hiking trails over secluded beach


You can see seals on the rocks and sometimes dolphin fins in the water.

You can see seals on the rocks and sometimes dolphin fins in the water.

Yesterday, J took the afternoon off to galavant around Hollywood with us. We drove to Griffith Park Observatory to get some amazing pics of the Hollywood sign and sweeping views of the urban sprawl, then descended to the ridiculousness that is Hollywood Boulevard. When we first moved here a year ago, I couldn’t believe that Hollywood was right up the street. Not that I’d ever cared about Hollywood before, but just driving through it was a thrill beyond what I’d expected; there’s something exciting about seeing Michael Jackson’s sidewalk star and being followed around by Darth Vader!

Yesterday morning my mom, J and I somehow exited the house with our coffee at 7am and headed to the clinic. It was nice to show my mom where the magic happened and have her be there for my final beta. I haven’t been having many pregnancy symptoms – my boobs are still sore, like even walking through the house hurts, and I’ve been a little dizzy and breathless, but that’s it. I told this to our bloodwork nurse, who assured me I may develop morning sickness soon and that when she was pregnant, she’d be in the middle of sticking a patient with a needle and would have to run away and puke. Great. With my new job starting next week, I’m super nervous about this! I was also nervous about the numbers going down. I imagined what it would be like for the nurse to call later in the day and say she was sorry, but I was probably miscarrying. I just wanted to be prepared for anything.

While we were eating with the tourists in Hollywood, the phone rang. My IVF coordinator relayed the numbers – beta was up to 5,250! Back at the table, my mom says she’ll finally allow herself to be happy for us (she’s very cautious due to family history of miscarriages) and J is excited. I felt a warm glow for the rest of the day. J is still worried about twins but we’ve started joking about it. “Better feed the twins,” she says, and “I better get ready to feed a family of four.” I would love to have twins once they’re out of my belly, but carrying them, keeping them healthy, and delivering them safely terrifies me.

I gave my beta news to my sisters, who are both new moms, and they both were happy but informed me that they started morning sickness at 6 weeks. It was BAD. Six weeks will be my first week at a new office, the most important job I’ve ever had. I’ll be armed with crackers, seltzer, ginger tea, and Preggie Pops, but still scared.

Our first ultrasound is next Saturday, June 28th! Oh my gosh that’s going to change everything, my whole life…

My mom and I many years ago.

My mom and I many years ago.

11 pm last night:

It’s late. Why am I up at 11 on a weeknight? Certainly not because I’m not tired! I have insomnia. And I’m eagerly awaiting my mom’s late-night arrival.

I’m taking a week off before I start my new job. My original plan for this fabulous week was to visit my sister’s family, and cover my baby niece Giuliana with kisses, but the tickets home to Connecticut were crazy expensive. Plan B was to fly to my other home-away-from-home, Albuquerque, to see my mom and drive her car back. I’m buying my mom’s old car (she upgraded) since I can’t take the bus to South Central for the new job. Actually, technically I can, but I don’t plan to. Anyway, I ran this trip by my doctor the day of the transfer and she said she’d prefer I didn’t leave town, especially get on an airplane, before all my betas are done. When I pressed further, she explained that I should be close to her if I have “bleeding,” even if the plane ride is only an hour and my mom is a midwife. So my mom agreed to come out to LA with the car and have some fun with me for a few days. I’m so lucky to have a mom who’s willing to sell me her car for cheap and drive 13 hours straight to go to the beach and out to eat with me for my week off! I’ve been really sad about not seeing my sis and niece though.

I’ve had insomnia for a week. The nurses say this is normal for pregnancy. I’m exhausted and feel a little off, and I’ve been super emotional. It’s definitely cliche pregnancy stuff – I’ll be doing something totally normal like cleaning the kitchen, then all of a sudden I’m standing there crying. I know the sleep deprivation is contributing to the crying because I’ve always been that way, it’s just more often and more intense. Has anyone else had insomnia their first trimester? Spontaneous crying? My older sister said she did (well, the insomnia), and my little sister said maybe it’s the body’s way of preparing you for parenting. Well I’m getting a crash course! I’m not complaining, just observing. In fact, I’ve been excited about getting morning sickness because I’ll know it’s a good sign. I’ve been reading articles about dealing with morning sickness and fatigue at work and I bought ginger everything – beer, candies, tea – in preparation. Only a little nausea here and there so far.

Monday, 11am:

12 hours later. I greeted my mom, got her settled in, and slept on and off last night. I’m tired but excited for her visit. This morning we had coffee and talked about pregnancy stuff, then took a long walk. Such luxury having my mom around! I’ve always looked forward to being pregnant and having my midwife mom for support, so this is my chance! We’re going to Korean BBQ for lunch near my partner’s office because she’s leaving this afternoon for a business overnight in Texas. Then we’re going to do fun LA tourist stuff for a few days – Hollywood, Santa Monica pier, hiking in Malibu, downtown. I promise my next post will be way more fun than this one. I’ll post lots of fun pictures!

And maybe sometime during this week off I’ll take a nap…

This morning we had a very fun clinic visit, at least as far as waking up at 6am and driving a half hour in the opposite direction from my office to get a needle in my arm is concerned. Everyone was funny, our bloodwork nurse, our coordinator, the nurse midwife. I told them all that our baby is the size of a poppy seed. I love this because I absolutely love anything with poppy seeds in it.

The coordinator advised against riding my bike. She said going to yoga is fine, but I can’t ride my bike there. How are you supposed to get to yoga in LA unless it’s on a bike?! I asked her if she was going to make me sweat allll day at work again like Tuesday, and she said no, she would call around 1:30. I held my phone in my hand through a lunch with my boss and a meeting, and finally at 2:30 she called. My beta rose from 63 on Tuesday to 199 today! I was happy, J was happy.

It’s weird to be at the clinic and be pregnant after sitting in anxious uncertainty for months in the same waiting room. I have so much respect and compassion for the couples I see in there and hope the clinic can help them conceive. I don’t feel like I can understand what the straight couples are going through because I haven’t experienced trouble with fertility. If you know me, you already have heard this, but I feel guilty. Couples who have been married for years still aren’t pregnant, and J and I, a pretty new couple, are pregnant. I don’t believe the world ever owes anyone anything, so I don’t believe in the word “deserve,” but I struggle with the fact that I’m pregnant and they’re not. I did go through a few really tough years. Every year I felt like finally, maybe the universe would give me a break, and then something else horrible would happen. I feel incredibly lucky that this is happening to me and I can’t believe it; it’s surreal. I hope this isn’t offensive or hurtful to anyone reading this, I just want to be honest and share my TTC thoughts, and these are the rawest ones.

This week is crazy. Tomorrow’s my last day at my job. I have so much to wrap up and wonderful people to say good-bye to. I’m not good at keeping the little nugget a secret. I work with so many sweet, positive people, I just want to tell everyone, especially since I’m leaving. How do people keep this a secret for three months?

Due to the work situation, I’m scattered and a little wired. I’m a little sleep-deprived, and I’ve been feeling nauseous in the late afternoons and evenings. My boobs are incredibly sore, not PMS sore, but beyond that. I’m happy to have any symptoms, as long as the poppy seed keeps growing!
Please don’t go away teeny tiny embryo…

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The above tests were from Sunday, Monday and today. I have no patience so yesterday, after analyzing the very faint extra line and changing the photo filters over and over to make it show up, I finally just took a digital one. I love how it spells it out!

This morning was my first beta. The blood draw nurse at our clinic is awesome. I told her about the digital test and she said it can’t lie! Then I waited allllll dayyyyyyy and finalllllllly got a call from our IVF coordinator at 4pm. Despite the positive HPT, I wanted to know my levels are good before getting excited! Hcg level is 63, and this week I’ll be four weeks. Wait a minute, four weeks?! How is that possible? J’s retrieval was only two weeks ago! I guess it’s calculated differently for IVF?

This is crazy. Everything happens at once. I haven’t slept well in two days and I get crabby when that happens. I’m trying to finish everything at work as Friday is my last day, but it’s hard to concentrate with a little nugget inside of me! My grandfather, who is 90, was rushed to the hospital this morning with an infection. He has dementia. When I called him in his hospital room he knew who I was but asked over and over when I’m going to come home from my “trip.” I’ve lived in California for ten years but he waits for me to come home. I cried in my office when we hung up.

I had 4am insomnia, nervous for the test. When I finally fell asleep I dreamt that J and I were babysitting my niece and I left her alone while changing her diaper. When I realized my mistake I ran across a town to get back to her and ran up the stairs to get her. I couldn’t tell if she was still alive when I grabbed her in the dream, and then I woke up. I love her so much and all day I’ve felt like a horrible person.

I don’t mean to be a downer. I’m really happy that I’m pregnant obviously. Even though it was our first try, we put nine months of planning and years of savings into it. Literally four months of medications, tests, early morning clinic visits and constant planning went into it. It’s just all happening so fast and I need time to process it! Once this week is over I can’t wait to celebrate!

Is there a tiny Korean-Italian nugget inside me? I tried to wait until my Beta or at least the day before (which is today). But we had 2 tests leftover from when J had to confirm her trigger shot with the clinic and my conception friend was testing yesterday morning so of course I did too. Read on.

4DP5DT: Saturday we spent the whole day shopping at an outdoor mall to update my professional wardrobe for my new job, and add to J’s architecture meeting garb. I felt so many implantation cramps that I was very optimistic. I’m certain that I know exactly where that embie burried into my uterus: very low on the right side. I felt tiny sharp pains, cramping and a pulling sensation for three days. Anyway, I went into several baby stores but chickened out. Finally J found this, bless her heart I know she was just humoring me!:

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5DP5DT: Yesterday I woke up and took a test right away. It was 5DP5DT, too early, but I got this:

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The day was fraught with mixed anxiety and excitement. I sent the pic to my mom and sis who both saw the very faint second line. J said she saw the line but it was too early and she wasn’t going to add to my crazy-making. I bought brand-name pregnancy tests and decided to try again.

6DP5DT: This morning I tested again and got this (enhanced with black-and-white filter):

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What do you think out there in blog land?

I googled “very faint line on pregnancy test” and the concensus is that a very faint line means positive. My mother’s a midwife and she agrees. However, I’m very familiar with the risks of getting excited. Even if my Beta tests positive, I’m going to be ready for anything until the next few days, weeks and then months are over. But it’s the Year of the Horse and J’s my good luck charm so here’s hoping!

Side note: Last night we went to see Uh Huh Her! Diehard lesbian culture fans out there, you know who I mean. I remember watching the movie All Over Me my first year of college and how adorable Leisha Hailey was. Then I got into The Murmers and listened to “Genius” on repeat for a year. Of course I’ve seen every episode of The L Word once or twice. Because the concert was in West Hollywood, the mecca of L Word-type actresses, Katherine Moennig (the coveted Shane) was in the audience last night! Also I ordered my first non-alcoholic beer ever (I have to have a bottle in my hand at a concert) and it was actually pretty good!

Did I get that fertility jargon right? For two days our little blastocysts have been hatching. Maybe they’ll start implanting tomorrow.

J was very concerned that we should only have transferred one embryo and worried about twins. I’m just worried I won’t get pregnant.

J sent flowers to my office yesterday: for me and for our blasties!

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The transfer was pretty serene, probably due to getting a lovely massage right before, and the Valium my IVF coordinator gave me. Here’s the play-by-play:

I was shaky and nervous when we arrived at the clinic. Since I forgot my water bottle at home I bought a nice bottle of Evian in the office building cafe. Only the best for my “baby”! Our doctor called us into her office and reviewed our embryos. It was pretty heart-wrenching to see the list of each embryo and how they did. The embryos at the top had survived and their development was coded, but a line down the page where the other fertilized eggs had been just said “disposed.” It was weird. Or doctor explained the development of each embryo. We had two in really good condition, not “As” but “Bs” she called prime. They are going to continue watching four more and we will possibly have 2-4 to freeze. When I first found out there were only two good ones I freaked out a little inside. Our doctor explained why she recommended two embryos based on J’s eggs and the development of the embryos; if they weren’t well-developed she may have recommended three, or if we were younger, one, but as it was we followed her rec and transferred two. Our clinic has a 48% success rate in our age category. If we transferred only one, the chances of pregnancy drops to 18%. However, with two, the chance of twins is 20%. Neither of us wants twins but our doctor explained that it is never her intention to give anyone twins, her intention is one healthy baby, but that having to go through another cycle can be very difficult emotionally.

When we got to the room my bladder wasn’t quite full so they had me drink more water and checked my bladder on the ultrasound to see if it was getting full. Around the time the Valium started kicking in, a magic cubbyhole door in the wall opened and our embryologist stuck her head through and introduced herself! It felt surreal, her showing us the lab through the cubbyhole, the incubators, and handing us a picture of our embryos. Then our doctor, who is a fabulous female fertility queen, came in. I felt the catheter go through my cervix – tiny ouch – but J was holding my hand and I was happy and relaxed from the valium so it wasn’t too bad. We watched on the screen as the catheter released the embryos. J took a video of it, which was our doctor’s idea, but I can’t get the video to save into this post. The embryos looked like a tiny shooting star falling into place! As soon as it was over I started crying. I was so happy and couldn’t believe it was happening. J said later that she almost cried too but kept it together so we could hear the aftercare instructions.

I stay on estrogen twice daily and progesterone suppositories three times daily. I learned from my WordPress friends in London that they’re called “pressaries” there and I like that much better! No exercise for 48 hours. I’m a little crampy but can’t use ibuprofen or even a heating pad – the doctor says my body knows what temperature to keep the embryos 🙂

Our embryos!

Our embryos!

The biggest surprise today was that my BETA is in ONE WEEK!! WWWHHHATT?! I thought it was a two week wait! Our coordinator explained that since we transferred a 5-day blastocyst, my first blood pregnancy test will be next Tuesday June 10th, then the second June 12th, and if I am pregnant, the final one June 19th. I’ve been preparing for the long haul and I’m flabbergasted that we have a test in only a week!

J and I took a long nap this afternoon, then made a yummy dinner and watched a comedy movie. Supposedly laughing is good for post-transfer? It worked, we laughed! I also ate my pineapple and core, and the other four pieces are waiting in the fridge to eat each day to keep my uterus sticky.

I'll do whatever it takes! Plus this fair trade pineapple is amazing.

I’ll do whatever it takes! Plus this fair trade pineapple is amazing.

I cannot believe J’s biological embryos are in my uterus right now. How did this happen?! It’s amazing. I’m hoping for the best outcome possible but I know that all kinds of things happen during IVF and I’m prepared for the emotional roller coaster to continue. On the other hand, I feel calm and open. Back to work tomorrow to act as if nothing is happening! Good thing I have a busy day…

I’ve been noticing a lot of universal alignment. For several months this past winter I didn’t feel much of it; these were sad and frustrating days mostly spent resenting Los Angeles. My partner always says that things are going to start happening for me, that 2014 is my year, it’s the Year of the Horse, my Chinese zodiac, I’m finally a licensed professional, and all kinds of exciting things would rain down on me. I saw a lot of dry days but recently, I feel drizzle. Some days I even get a downpour! The day I started my mock cycle, the morning of my new job offer, and our first day of stimulation were downpour days.

I’ve finally agreed on a start date for my new job. My last day of work at my current position is June 13, a few days before my BETA. I’m going to take a week off the regroup (and find out if I’m pregnant!) before I start the new job. I was nervous to put my notice in because my current boss can be hot and cold and because I wasn’t completely settled in the decision. We had a long talk in her office when I brought her my letter of resignation. I told her that I couldn’t turn down the new offer, both financially and in terms of experience, and that I really appreciated the clinic and the work I had been able to do there. Her first reaction was to say that if it was a step in the right direction then she was all for it, and that my new employer would surely benefit from my work. She understood that the money was hard to turn down and that she had had a job earlier in her own career that she now wishes she had left sooner. She mentioned that choosing to stay in a job sometimes required considering the long-term payoffs. I thought maybe that comment eluded to reasons I should consider staying there, but I’m not sure. I don’t see many payoffs to staying in this job. The testing experience is great and the possibility of becoming a supervisor eventually, but I will have both of those things at my new job. All in all it felt good to get things out on the table and have her support.

I also told my current boss about the IVF. We were having an open discussion and I’ve had so many “medical appointments” I’ve had to be late to work for I figured it couldn’t hurt. She looked genuinely excited for my partner and I. I had no idea what she thought of my unexplained medical issues but with my age and how healthy I am I figured she may guess it was pregnancy-related.

Another odd thing has been happening at my office with babies and intuition. I work in a training clinic and several of the interns, some of whom are middle-aged and very insightful, have been asking me if I’m thinking of having a baby. I’ve never mentioned anything like this to any of them. How do they know?! It’s someone different each week, and always in a totally different context. Very strange and sends happy shivers down my spine! I believe in synchronicity. My partner calls it chaos theory. We’ve had many wine-soaked conversations about chaos theory in which we’ve discovered some fun collisions of words and meaning between our two professions. For example, in architecture, tangential has to do with the geometry that helps shape a building, and in psychology it refers to a client’s thought process veering off-topic. Triangulation in her world is how you use two points to locate a third, and in my world it’s how a family member or job or substance comes between the emotional connection of two people. She has explained chaos theory to me but I have to admit, I still don’t fully comprehend it. All I know is my incomprehensible experiences. Two years ago, when a personal tragedy hit me here in California, my little sister pulled over to the side of the road in Connecticut freaking out. She called my dad and told him something bad was happening to someone in our family; it was me. When I announced to my family that I was dating J and she was coming home for Christmas with me, my little sister said she had bought a new set of plates for Christmas dinner, and that she had bought an extra one but she hadn’t known who it was for at the time; it was for J. This intuition is so cool to me! I see it all the time, usually in smaller ways. I’m currently scoring a Rorschach test I administered to a client. I haven’t administered an inkblot in a few years or even thought about it. The morning I was working on it I started listening to a new audiobook, Flowers for Algernon, which opens with a Rorschach test scene! Interesting.

I’ll stop going on an on about universal circumstances and give an update already! J is feeling much better. She was pretty bloated and crampy but every day it gets a little better. Since today was Sunday we didn’t hear about our embryos but I’m sure they’re coming along in their incubator. Our transfer is scheduled for Tuesday at 1pm. I’d rather have it done in the morning and not waste a whole day off but I decided I’d go to yoga in the morning and maybe the relaxation will help me and the embryos connect! J and I have had lots of research and debates about how many embryos to transfer. Our IVF coordinator called us this morning to solidify the transfer time and everything. She said our doctor will make a recommendation based on J’s age and the development of the embryos. Meanwhile, it’s been nice not to have to think about medical stuff and to enjoy our weekend!