Under heavy skies we wonder, under heavy skies we pray

But today there was a harvest and the flowers opened anyway.

-Vanessa Torres

In the field of psychology, and I suppose in pop culture now, the word trigger refers to emotions. When my clients get “triggered,” something set off the very thoughts and emotions they’re working hard to change. In the world of IVF, the “trigger shot” is disguised as a medical term, but we all intuitively know it’s so much more than that. Why else would it affectionately be called a trigger shot? It triggers the nervous excitement a couple has been building up for weeks. It triggers us to believe something could happen. It triggers us to start worrying. It triggers the beginning of a very emotional few weeks.

The universe continues to throw crazy shit at J and I. I quit my job on Friday (more on that later). J had a huge project meeting today, which was supposed to be her retrieval day, that could not be moved and was planned after we started our cycle. My job, which used to be very relaxed with time to obsess over IVF blogs, is now so busy I can barely go to the ladies’. My private practice clients all want to have family sessions all of a sudden. We’re both kind of running on empty, but we’re happy because of all the adrenaline!

Yesterday was J’s final monitoring session. She had 19 follicles on one side and 17 on the other! Her estrogen was over 4,000 the night before so they didn’t even bother telling us her level in last night’s phone call. Our IVF coordinator mixed up her trigger shot and showed us how to use it. It was to be injected subcutaneously, not intramuscularly. Apparently sub q is just as effective. We set an alarm for midnight last night, the time of the trigger shot. Waking up in the middle of the night to get a shot in the stomach isn’t exactly fun but it wasn’t awful either. Of course today J has a red rash around the injection site which our doctor said is nothing to worry about. This morning, since J couldn’t make it into the clinic for monitoring, they had her take a home pregnancy test. The HCG in the trigger shot should make her test positive to be sure it’s working. She tested positive and I called the clinic with her results. Today was a needle-free day! Tonight we just ate some pizza and we’re getting in bed at 9pm.

So we’ve been triggered, physically and emotionally. Her retrieval is at 11am tomorrow. Stay tuned for the number of eggs collected!

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