My little sister's daughter, left, and my older sister's son, right, both wrapped in blankets knitted by me!

My little sister’s daughter Giuliana, left, and my older sister’s son Gabriel, right, both wrapped in blankets knitted by me!

 

I’m the middle sister of three thirty-something women and my mom is a nurse midwife, so for the past several years, we wondered when a baby would come. The idea of our family having a new generation of babies hadn’t occurred to me until a few years prior. I’ve never been much of a kid person and didn’t want children at all until my late twenties. First of all, I was thrown off by the whole gay thing; even when I dated a couple of guys around age 27, I felt like I’d missed the boat on the whole traditional family thing. I knew I wouldn’t be marrying a guy because I’d been out since age 16 and who are we kidding? I didn’t even know if marriage was something I believed in for myself (the jury’s still out on that one, pun intended, at least in the national sense). My relationships were somewhat unpredictable and I was finishing my doctorate which is daunting both financially and time-wise. I was completely focused on my career and my social life, so I figured starting a family wasn’t really in the cards for me. Even a couple of years ago, after a few years of wanting a baby, I found myself suddenly single and 33. I threw the idea out the window again; my sisters would have amazing new families and I would just tag along as the auntie.

Then J and I started dating. We’d been friends, not super close but in the same group for five years. Things started to fall into place. I felt calm and secure around her and this was a pretty foreign feeling for me. She was financially stable, a good communicator, and of course beautiful and attractive. She had a bit of a wild side, working her steady architecture firm job, fixing up her house on the weekends, then running off to Europe for a few weeks, or going out every night for a week just because she felt like it. I loved that she was stable and mature yet spontaneous and intense. We related to each other so well and fell into a relationship neither of us expected. Once we’d been together for awhile I shared my baby dreams with her and she suggested we start looking into it, considering our ages. I felt so much gratitude that we were starting the process, and eight months later, I’m still amazed that this is happening! Preparing for reciprocal IVF has been a fun and interesting project for us and I just can’t wait to get started on stimulation TOMORROW!

I’ve gotten way off track – back to Giuliana and Gabriel. Thank goodness blogs don’t have to be as well-organized as books or papers!

ANYWAY, last year I found out both of my sisters were pregnant, a few months apart. I remember where I was when each of them gave me their happy news, and having tears of joy that my family was finally getting some babies! They say that babies feel different when they’re a part of your family, and let me tell you, meeting these little guys was an experience wholly new to me. Feeling their tiny bodies in my arms and seeing my sisters’ faces in theirs has been incredible. J and I were already seeking fertility treatment when the babies came, but if we hadn’t yet, this may have set me over the edge. I’ve always identified with being a sister – I love my sisters and consider them friends, mentors and confidants. I also think both of their husbands are pretty great. Watching their babies grow is crazy awesome!

Giuliana was born November 3rd, 2013 and Gabriel March 15th, 2014. I threw showers for both sisters, and found adorable gifts everywhere for them (oh my gosh, all of a sudden baby stuff is everywhere!). A Christmas ornament for Giuliana, a silver-plated piggy bank for Gabriel, newborn Christmas pjs for Giuliana, sophisticated gray nursing scarves for both sisters. The night Giuliana was born J and I had gone to see Blue is the Warmest Color, a French film about two women in love. Before the movie, even though the baby wasn’t expected until the next week, we sent my little sister a pic of us toasting a beer to her arrival. A few minutes later, while in the theater, I got a text back that my little sis was in labor! We stayed at the theater, but needless to say I missed most of the lesbian love fest on the screen. J and I stayed up that night to wait for the pictures from the hospital and we even had a glass of champagne. I spent Christmas cuddling Giuliana, changing her cloth diapers, singing to her, kissing her. When Gabriel came I could barely concentrate at work while my older sister was at the hospital for four days. I woke up in the middle of the night waiting for news that he was finally born. When I met him a few weeks later I felt slightly more comfortable (thanks to practice with Giuliana!) and I got to cuddle, change and sing to him too! It’s just been so incredible meeting these little people and watching my sisters effortlessly become mothers. Okay, I know it’s not effortless but they’re both naturals!

It’s funny TTC while falling in love with new babies. I’ve been nothing but happy, maybe a twinge of well-intentioned jealousy here and there, but for the most part Giuliana and Gabriel have only added to my baby lust. I’m not saying it wasn’t exhausting when they both cried unstoppably during my visits, but for the most part they made tiny baby sounds, slept in my arms, had micro-smiles, and were just amazing. My sisters are great moms!

I started knitting a baby blanket for my own baby four years ago, but ended up tearing it out and making two new ones for my sisters. I hope that someday soon I can start knitting my own baby blanket!

 

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