My current job isn’t as challenging or well-paid as I’d like, but it’s not overwhelmingly busy and my office is comfortable and supportive, so it would be a great place to be pregnant. I have a new couch and armchair, an area rug, plants and flowers, and sliding-glass doors that open to a balcony. Staying at this job for the remainder of our time in LaLa land would be so easy. Since the IVF plans became real I’ve often fantasized about having morning sickness in my cushy office, happily sucking on ginger candies and working from my laptop while sprawled out on the couch with the door closed and the lights off.

BUT I did not go to graduate school, complete three years of postdocs and two years struggling through licensing exams to sit in an easy, comfortable job and have no savings! So a few months ago I started interviewing for a new job. It was a great opportunity, and we hadn’t solidified IVF plans yet. I figured if I got the job we would put off IVF for a few months so I wouldn’t be possibly newly pregnant and starting a new job at the same time. It took them two months to begin the hiring process though, so I decided to move forward with TTC and turn down the job. J and I had already started our cycle when I received the offer letter.

It was the universe working in mysterious ways; I’d felt stagnant for months, hating LA, feeling miserable at an uninspiring job, waiting for my previous domestic partnership with my ex to be dissolutioned by the courts. Every day I dragged myself to work, feeling a bit depressed, wishing something exciting would happen. Then spring came and things started happening all at once.

I accepted the job but continued to agonize over the decision. How could I start a new job and go through IVF at the same time? Fertility is affected by stress, I would have too many doctors appointments, and I’d be working in South Central LA, in a rough area with rough clients and an extremely demanding schedule.

BUT I’d have an awesome job, I’d feel invigorated, the business would be a distraction from the emotional ups and downs of IVF, and most importantly, I’d have much more financial security for becoming a mother. I’ve had wise friends and family give different advice on this. My mother, who brought my sisters and I up to be career women and feminists, who was always a working mom, felt like I should focus on having a baby. Another psychologist at my office, also an incredible career woman, also felt like this was a time to focus on starting a family. A friend of mine made the point that some women turn down career opportunities to try to get pregnant and it ends up taking months, and now is a good time to save money and have a great job to fall back on.

My decision came down to a gut feeling that I couldn’t turn the job down. If and when I get to be a mother, I want to feel good about myself, to feel financially secure, and to know that I my career will continue advancing, motherhood or not.

As of right now, I’ve completed the paperwork for the new job and I’m waiting for fingerprinting. I’m planning to take it. Our first cycle of IVF will have just been completed and I’ll probably be in my TWW when it starts. I’m thinking that all the positives of the new job will be not a hinderance, but a fabulous part of my TTC journey!

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