My partner and I have been considering having a baby together since last fall. Since we are both women, we were sent straight to the fertility clinic. The info from our amazing doctor at USC Fertility in Los Angeles has been great, but more personal and detailed information I’ve been able to read on other lesbian couples’ blogs has been key. I want this blog to be accessible to other couples looking for information on lesbian pregnancy.

There are a few different options for couples like us; we could inseminate at home with a midwife and fresh sperm, or inseminate at a fertility clinic using IUI (in-utero insemination) using frozen sperm from a cryobank. We could also opt for IVF (in-vitro fertilization), in which eggs are harvested and extracted, fertilized with frozen sperm outside the body, then successful embryos implanted back into the uterus. And an even more complicated option is reciprocal IVF, where the eggs of one female partner are fertilzed and implanted into the uterus of the other partner, allowing both to be a part of the pregnancy.

Reciprocal IVF felt like an obvious choice for us. I have wanted to get pregnant for seven years, so I really wanted to carry. Unfortunately, according to my bloodwork my fertility is rapidly declining. My partner wasn’t interested in carrying but her fertility workups look great – lots of eggs, and AMH and FSH levels very good. My partner is also adopted and has no known biological family, so this way I get to be pregnant and she gets to meet the first biological relative she’s ever known!

Of course this is the most invasive, technical, and expensive way to try to conceive. If my partner didn’t have the amazing job she does as an architect, I could not make this dream a reality; I would be scrounging for the mere few thousand dollars IUI would cost me. I’m really lucky that my partner was into this idea and willing to fund this incredibly special experience we’re about to embark on.

Despite the constant bloodwork, rounds of hormones, needles, and “procedures,” I feel like reciprocal IVF is super romantic. Getting to have the experience of J’s baby growing inside would be what straight women get to feel when carrying their own children. I believe that humans can do positive, amazing things with science, and this is one of them.

We’re about to start our first round of IVF, so I will write another post about the timeline!

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